Southern Singing to City Living

Today it is extremely cold in New York. It's cold like ugges, hat, scarf, and leg warmer, ear muffs, and gloves. In this kind of weather is a MUST to have all of the above. I know you're probably thinking, well what did you expect in New York, unpredictable Dallas weather. Well to answer your question,Yes I did. Don't ask me why I just did.

What makes the weather even more worse is that I work long hours and catching the train in 25 degree below 0 weather late at night makes the wait much longer than it really is. In as much as New York is a very busy city catching the train definitely teaches you patience. I don't care how much I am in a hurry I still gotta wait on the train. Its so funny in college I use to tell my friends that I was moving to New York to be the Black Carrie Bradshaw from Sex And The City. But the reality is that SATC was a fictitious TV series because the truth of the matter is I don't know how in the world Carrie was a writer wearing $500 shoes, living in a huge rent control apartment and catching cabs everywhere. Cabs are expensive, very expensive and with there being heavy traffic it doesn't make life simpler.

Whoever said that if you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere, wasn't lying. I miss the days where I can wash my clothes in my home and not have drag the down to the laundry mat.  The sad thing I can't let my laundry pile up because the heavy load become unbearable and the journey becomes even more of a very exhausting experience.This is the same for grocery shopping as well. OMG!!! buying groceries and carrying them down 8 blocks is the best workout. At first I hated it and then I thought I really hated  it but I found the good in it and  thought about all the calories I was burning (lol) .

Going out has its struggles too. For the most part it takes me three trains to get to exciting side of the city.  I have to take the 7, N, and either the 1 or the 2, talk about perseverance and determination (lol) . Lawd have mercy, running in heels to catch a train late at night is like making an attempt of suicide  I leaned the smartest thing to do is take a nice size purse that my heels can fit in and then wear my flats on the train, just in case somebody crazy wants to run up on me I can burst a fast and serious move (lol). However that too can be a gamble. Some clubs insist that you throw your shows away, which makes absolutely no sense to me at all. Clearly how can a flat shoe be considered a deadly weapon. What am I gonna do?!? beat a woman to death(lol)  I'm sure after a few hits from my shoe to her head she'll find a way too attack me with her rat tail comb and  I will be the one stabbed to death, but I digress. The crazy thing  is people go out here and lines are wrapped around the building and women are dressed half naked  (cause we are on the market)  and not wearing a coat. I mean its freezing and they're wearing heels and are shivering due to the coldest of cold weather and no coat on?, Not I said the single black woman, the last thing I need is for my coochie to catch a cold(words from my granny)  I am always making sure I look good showing off the best of my assets but I'm not gonna kill myself doing it, hints the reason for coat check. It's New York of course they're gonna have coat check why wouldn't they. There is a fee for it, but if I can't pay the fee, going to this club aint for me(lol).

In a nut shell New York has been one hell of an adjustment, but I'm taking it all in stride. I stopped asking God what am I doing here. That answers easy, because I moved here. Now I want to know whats keeping me here, what are my expectations of being in New York. My friend Leon in Dallas use to tell me all the time that all the things I  want to do can be done in Dallas and now I'm beginning to believe he might have been right. But I'm here and for the first time I've decided not move until I get all that I'm suppose to get in this part of my journey. Unless I get knock-up  then I'd have to go home. I can't raise a baby by myself and I'm afraid my sister and mom would run off with my child away. So i might as well surrender to their will (lol). However that wont happen anytime soon. Thanks to my long work hours I don't have to worry about that. I haven't had time to meet some very sexy gorgeous man to color with (lol).

So to my friend who is struggling with adjustment to a decision you've made. If for no other reason stay there until you gain all that you can from this part of the journey that you're on.

Til Next Time
Simply Lola

No More Fear This Year

Working in the music industry is a great experience but  at the same time it has got to be the most unstable industry to be in, especially when it comes to Black Entertainment. I love my job (Lawd knows I do) but working with my boss has been one hell of a challenge. I stress out all the time about if I am doing a good job or if she's gonna fire me for making a mistakes. I mean she's so cut throat that it freaks me out. My job is not hard at all. I'm an assist for Christ sake. I'm not curing cancer or discovering new research on deadly diseases. All I'm doing scheduling appointments and executing her administrative needs. Never the less I beat myself up on not doing a good enough job all the time. The more I feel like a failure the more I wanted to quit and go home. At least once a week I have said to myself "I don't have to take this shit, my momma loves me I can go home" (lol).The stress from my job got so bad that I poped a blood vessel in my eye... Oh wait, time out, flag on the play unnecessary roughness on ME!  I am on the market and I can NOT being looking like I've subjected myself to an abusive relationship... NO WAY NO HOW!!!

Breaking a blood vessel I knew it was time to get a grip on myself and say enough is enough. So I decided to just STOP. STOP being so afraid of not doing a good job, or being good enough. Most importantly I've decided to STOP beating myself up. I mean lets be honest my greatest fear of not doing a good job has clearly come up on me. I've sent more emails to the wrong person then the right person. I've delivered itineraries with missing information . Lord knows I have done it all. I don't pay attention to detail very well (its not one of my strongest traits) and I am going to mess up sometimes.  I am a born perform it is what I do best but right now I am the assistant to a woman who can kill you with her words alone.  So  if her words are going to kill me at least I know I'm going to Heaven, well as long as God threw my sins in the sea of forgetfulness, I should be good (lol).

I am reminded of the bible story Job. A man who worshiped God all because he was afraid of losing all that he had, only to eventually lose everything. It was when he surrendered to his fear that God was able to give hime back all that he had lost. The most valuable lesson I've learned coming into this New Year is that I can't let my fears get the best me. I have to accept my flaws and decide with time the things I struggle with I'll get better at. I can do this and I will do this job well. Quitting is NOT an option and if they fire me God will provide, my momma loves me and well I can always go home. I've been fired before and I've gotten another job. I am a 32 year old woman whose eggs are ready hatch which makes me a woman whose ready to get hitched (lol). I must prepare for Calvin Johnson (Mega Tron) to find me, fall in love with me and make his Mega wife (lol)

To my friend who is a afraid about anything. Take it from me, accept, embrace, and surrender to your fear. Once you do that you can work through anything.

Til Next Time:
Simply Lola

Agree to Disagree: A Disagreement with Danita

Everyone knows how much I love my sister. My sister and I are absolute best of friends... poller opposites but thick as thieves  My parents taught us at a very early age that we are ALL we got and it has stuck with us for a life time.  In as much as we are very close sometimes we don't see eye to eye. Its tragic but true that we just don't think alike, especially when it comes to MEN!!!.Now Danita is married  and I, sadly to say am not married. She's younger than me but she thinks knows every thang and yes since I want to be married it would be ideal to take her advice but in this case I just can't do it.   Which brings me to the situation at hand.

For the past 6 months I have been casually dating/ talking to this guy that lives in Dallas. At the beginning of us connecting we hit it off great. As time has gone on things have been very inconsistant with us talking and seeing each other. To make a long story short the last straw was when I went to Dallas for the Holiday and he didn't call or even come by and see me. Now he has said that he is interested in me and likes but his actions aren't adding up. To make a long story short when I opened up for Jon B at the BB King club/loung in New York Time Square I got a lot of great response from friends, family, and people that attended the show. Out of no where this guy sends me a message  via twitter wishing me well and later asking me how did the show go. I thanked him for the support and I let him know that the show went very well. He later said he was proud of me and he'd call me later cause he wanted details. I told him that I was grateful for his support and really appreciated him wishing me well with the show, but there was no need to call me. My exact words were: You didn't call me when I was in Dallas and you're inconsistant which leads me to believe you have a lack of interest in me, so  lets just stick to being social media friends. Of course there was no response and then out of no where he start sending messages saying Good Morning  and How is work, blah, blah , blah.

Since my sister is my best friend that doesn't judge me I  tell her this whole story and she tells me that I am NOT being fair because I refuse to respond. She starts going on and on how maybe he just wants to take it slow and I should really give him a chance. I couldn't believe it!!! Out of the 6months we've been on one date, and he had a brief kiss ( that was actually nice) but other than that it has not gone any where. He doesn't so much as Skype me and if you haven't notice but I am a very attractive woman. Then Danita goes on to say that I should enjoy the moment ...WHAT MOMENT!?!? moments of inconsistency!!! She started telling I'm to hard on guys and I just give him a chance. I couldn't believe it!! Danita is the author and finisher of " YOU TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT YOU and she wants me to compromise.  I am a woman in my early thirties  whose biological clock is running a race of its on. My eggs are diminishing as we speak. I don't have time to take things so slow that I become someones girl friend of 10 years, sorry I can live the life of VH1 Love and Hip Hop, no not me... Aint Nobody Got Time For That. I had a long day at work and I didn't have the energy to go back and forth with her so I have decided to agree to disagree on a subject.

This has been on my mind ALL night and now I'm reaching out to you all  cause I just need to know whose side are you on? Mine or Danita's? Am I really being unreasonable or is she just being too passive.
Really, what is the deal.

Til Next Time
Simply Lola

Mixed Emotions/ Opening up for Jon B

My New Year is starting off Great. Today is the big day I open up for Jon B in Time Square in New York City. I have mixed emotions. I'm excited, nervous and a little sad at in one.

I'm excited because I'm doing something I love to do and thats perform. I am a performer its what I love to do and who I am creatively. To be able to start off the  New Year doing something I love to do just makes this moment ever more of an awesome feeling. Time Square, how many people can say they have performed in Time Square...not many. So just that alone makes tonight a great moment. Plus its Jon B I mean he's old school, but he made classic hits and for that I am truly honored.

I'm nervous because I have no idea what to expect. I am singing with all tracks because I can't have a band. So it will be just me on stage....ALONE, by myself (no pressure,lol).  Not only that the songs are coming it back to back with only 15secs in between. The good thing about a band is I can feed of their energy and change sounds and vibes its so much fun. Its a good thing I'm not a talker (lol).Then I'm singing all cover songs. For those of you who don't know what a cover song is, its when you just sing popular songs from the radio or an era. I have no problem with this but I am just praying I picked the right songs. I don't know what the audience is going to be like and how many people will be there... all of this has got me crazy. It's not much I can do about it now but go in and kill it in the best way I  can.

Finally, I'm sad cause I wont have my Dallas crew here with me. Lauren wont be here to mouth the words to me, cause Lord knows I forget lyrics in a minute. Kim Hunt wont be here to cheer me on cause thats just what she does. Frank, Daylon, Reggie, Robyn, the Roy Williams SafetyNet foundation...  non of the homies will be in the building. My church family usually makes coming out to support me at my shows as one of their worldly activities but I guess my father didn't approve a bus trip to New York (lol).  I have recruited some New York fans, like my friend Monica and her sister Michelle will be there and a few other people. But to make it like this which is huge to me and not have my crew or even my band just dosen't make it the same.

Please pray for me that the little fear I have turnes into GREAT FAITH!!!, I miss you guys and just know this is just the beginning. Love YA, check out the site

http://www.bbkingblues.com/bio.php?id=2194&o=1

Til Next Time
Simply Lola

The R.E.D Album Release Party

Tuesday was not just a day that we elected Barrack Obama for a second term of presidency but it was also the day that Ne Yo's  album R.E.D was released. Which meant that my life was no longer my own.  let me tell you how it all started.

Tuesday afternoon lets say oh around about 3pm I get an email that says; hey we need to put together a album release party/dinner for Ne Yo and please make sure you have easels, artwork, roses, gift bags, Ne Yo's new CD, thank you cards and the list went on and on and on. The more I read the more I thought to myself omg, omg, omg, OOOOOOMMMMMGGGG. How in the WORLD am I gonna get this done by 8pm. Plus I had to make a guest list of executives that would be attending only to realize everybody and their momma thinks of themselves as a Very Important Person ( Jesus Keep Me Near The Cross). I had to start prioritizing fast quick and in a hurry. I assumed sense we have an intern that I would have help. But oh no this 35 year old honorary idiot had his own agenda and it had nothing to do with helping me put together this last minute party. When my counter partner asked him why wasn't he being pro active and assisting me with the party he says in a deep dumb voice : Well Lola aint ask me to do nothing. I thought to myself he can't be serious I have CC'd you on every email and split up a list of things to do so we can get the job done faster and you are sitting your fat butt in a chair saying I haven't asked you to do anything... how many ways do I have to say get your ass up and work without literarily pushing you out of this seat, but whatever the job gotta get done and you are a waste of thinking space in brain.

Moving forward I started making progress with getting decorations and confirming guest RSVP's and then out of no where I get hit with a phone call from Ne Yo's assistant asking me why didn't he receive an invitation to the party. I couldn't believe it. I was so annoyed that i had to take a step back take a deep breath and say Jesus Keep Me Near The Cross. After that I told him if he ever talked to me crazy again it would be the last words he'd every say and that he was Ne Yo's assistant so he's always invited where ever he goes you. He apologized and the air was clear. Pat myself on the back small fire put out. Now on to the other flaming issues.

I get to the restaurant  which was absolutely beautiful  and meet Brandyn the event coordinator's assistant. He was already working on the gift bags and me and my partner in crime Calvin started setting up the tables and placing Malibu Red product out. Let me just say this about Calvin, he is an absolute life saver, he really helped me pull this party off. Anyway things were still smooth until the doors open and uninvited guest entered the building.  Now I couldn't just say hey you can't be here because you aren't on the list cause these folks showed up with HNIC's of Def Jam and Motown.  All except for five girls who were invited by a tag along yes boy. Since he was no an HNICP or VIP I had no problem telling him that at $200 a plate they can't stay but are more then welcome to eat at McDonalds and meet the crew at Greenhouse. As for the rest of the uninvited guest that was a battle that I choose not to fight. Considering there were more people then setting I found myself sitting outside the private room right next to the kitchen, which was cool cause I wont be sitting on the outside for long. I'll the honored guest seated at the head table much sooner than later (lol).

The dinner turned out to a great success. Good food, and good people we some were good people (lol). Obama won the election and Ne Yo's R.E. D album is turned all the way up getting everyone hip and ready to head out to GreenHouse a popular night club in New York. and let me just add that this new album is really good, I mean timeless. It's absolutely amazing. Between  the restaurant and club I some how lost my phone,( this is just great). It's late and I forget that the buses are on a curfew from the storm to preserve gas. So it's like 2am I have no phone and I can't get home. So I go back to the office pull my paperless wireless bill up on the internet and start calling everybody I can think of except for my mom cause she'd ask to many questions until finally my friend Andre answered, thank you God. I told him to call the office at 7am to wake me up so I can go home get dress and get back to work ( long day, long night is an understatement, lol). He calls I go shower and change and get back to work on time mission complete.

After all the work I did the only person that gave me my props was my partner Calvin and my friend Daylon. But that was fine cause for the first time ever I can honestly say that I didn't need validation to prove that I am a hard worker or even a good worker. If no one else is proud of me  but me I'm okay with that. This job is a lot of work but I like it. I'm still not sure what I will get out of being here but I'm all the answers I need will be revealed in due time.

Til Next Time
Simply Lola

From Gramercy Park Hotel To Compound Ent.

When I first moved to New York I interviewed for a executive assistant position at Compound Music Entertainment. For those of you who are not familiar with Compound Music it's singer/songwriter Ne Yo’s record label. And if you don't know who Ne Yo is well he’s responsible for writing a lot of songs you sing along to. His most popular song is "To The Left' the song Beyonce recorded for her B-Day album. Anyway I interviewed with them the first week I moved to New York. I stalked Compound Music for like a month, checking on the status of the resume/interview every other day. After a while I just gave up and accepted a front desk agent job at the Gramercy Park Hotel. I figured not hearing back from Compound was a blessing that I would learn to appreciate later in life or a bullet that I have successfully dodge and didn't know. Although I’m a true social light, working nights at the hotel wouldn’t be so bad. It’s a nice hotel that is overpriced for the rich and famous. If nothing else I could be a social media light and just tweet and comment on facebook all of he craziness that goes on, on my shift(lol).If you follow me on twitter or you’er my friend on facebook you have read my post about the crazy celebrities like Lindsey Lohand stealing everything including the bed sheets from the hotel, to the very wealthy white men getting drunk at our popular Rose Bar and making out with random women in our lobby (they don’t call it the sex palace for nothing, lol). 

I had no life outside of work (which I’m sure my mom was relieved by)and when everyone was out and about I was sleep or working. I had to endure beating off the brutal mosquitoes who aggressively attached my legs and thigh. I even managed to suffer through working with my psychopath night manager. It was clear my night manager was an overweight bitter woman who would grow old alone and house stray cats and dogs until her death. Given all of the reasons to hate my job I never complained because I was grateful. I was working a Union job which meant benefits and stability (two things I hadn’t had in a very long time) I figure I work at the hotel enroll into the New York Film school graduate from the Masters program in two years and go from there. And then out of nowhere I get call from Compound offering me a position as a executive assistant.

My initial thought was “Hell Yeah” but then I was like WAIT!!! I got benefits and stability , two things I am beginning to enjoy. Music is my life but the ability to actually purchase something and not pray the popular prayer “Please God let my card approve” at drug/ grocery store had become a way of life that I was enjoying greatly. I am starting to have actually money in my saving account not being used to cover overdrafts fees. This may not sound like much to some of you reading this but this was a new life for me and I liked it. So before my mouth accepts something my thoughts haven’t confirmed I have a few questions. And my first question was, how much is the pay and when do we get paid. She told me the offer, which happen to be a little more then what I am making at the hotel but I would be on a 60 day probationary period. I had just completed a 90 day probationary period at the hotel, did I really want go back through the stress of hoping I'd make the cut. Probationary periods are very stressful for me because all I think about is “Oh God, please don’t let me mess up”, and what if I do mess up I have to look for another job and then I’ll be kicking myself thinking why didn’t I just stay at that damn hotel. The more I thought about the job at Compound the more I realized that my thoughts were more negative than positive.

So then I did a quick reality check. I started to think what if I do a really good job and things go well. What if making this move is a great moved towards my real dream, like Jill Scott. She got a contract job painting walls at Jazzy Jeff’s studio. Who knows maybe Ne Yo could be around and in need of a back ground singer and what do ya know I could be like hey I sing and that’s the start of my huge career. Or maybe a producer from Good Music walks in and say I need a singer to demo out a few songs for Rihanna or Beyonce and I’m like hey I can demo them for ya… what do ya know bam the stars a line and I’m a huge success. Once I started to think about the opportunities that the job presented I started to realize that there was more to gain than lose. So I signed on the dotted line and now I am working for Compound Entertainment.

Am I nervous about leaving my comfort zone, of course I am. This is Black Entertainment I’m talking about here and nothing is stable about Entertainment especially black entertainement . But I have to think positive and believe for the best. Its so funny I’ve been in New York for only 5 months and I am making huge moves fast. Clearly this is all the will of God, but I realize his will can’t be done until I surrendered. By no means am I trying to put up a front like I’m a Saint cause Lawd knows I aint. I will drink a whole bottle of wine by myself and flirt with WR Calvin Johnson if ever present with the opportunity (don't judge me) but I will say this, I accepted what God has given me and showed him appreciation for it. And because I learned how thank God for what I had I was able to get what I wanted.

To my friend who really wants something, I say thank God for what you have, find comfort in what he’s given you. When you do this simple thing God will truly start to give you the desires of your heart. And when he gives it to you trust its gonna be scary to leave your comfort zone but in the end it will be so worth it.

Til Next Time

Simply Lola

New York Update

It’s a little over four months since I’ve move to the Big Apple and for the most part I’m not doing to bad. I am still sleeping on my friend Monica’s couch but focused on getting a place of my own. I enrolled into this performing arts program at the New York Film Academy so I am real excited about starting school in January. I’m still working at my crazy hotel and no I have not gotten use to the night shift. I was working what felt like a hundred jobs when I first got here but I quickly had to quit a few of them… well I was only working three but I quit Steven Madden. I loved the discount but my job title was the  “Up Stairs Girl” meaning I did nothing but stand up stairs in the men’s section of the store. Every time I had to go into work I felt like I was wasting my life away it's just a not work $9.50 an hour. Plus men from overseas always came in the store wanting to take pictures with me and of me, that was just weird and uncomfortable at same damn time (lol).  I figure if I need some extra money I’ll look into over time at the hotel. I get asked a lot about New York and if I like here or is it over rated and what makes it different than living in the south.

Well to be honest I really like here. The weather is quickly changing and I’m not really ready for cold and snow. It was so cold one morning I had to catch a cab from my job to the train station. The station is not that far but Lord have mercy when that wind started to blow it became unbearable (lol). There’s no denying that the city is very fast pace. If you’re real particular about your personal space New York City is NOT the place for you. My mom and sister came out to visit and they were so ready to walk until they realized they couldn’t keep up. My mom had no problem going any where that got us there by cab, we rode the train once and she was done. I think that had something to do with the homeless man sleeping across from us with his mouth wide open (lol). Public transportation get's really crowded really fast, especially in the afternoon. The food is just okay it’s not all that great. In my opinion they could use alot moe butta in a lot of things, and a lot more pork too. The Jews own most of Manhattan which means you get served blue cheese with your salad. Ranch dressing has become a delicacy(lol)

Working at night is safe for me because the night life here is crazy. Everyone knows how I love to party. Lord knows if i could find a job to kick every night of the week I'd be its best employee (lol) I went out for my birthday and had way too much fun. The DJ’s in New York play a variety of  music and I danced all night. In Dallas the DJ’s tend to only play down south music making UGK sound like a hot new release. The vibe and the people are just different. This not a place were you can fake the fonk. Because the south is a little slower and much cheaper it’s easy to pretend to be ballin out of control. But that mess don’t fly down here. It’s real clear that everybody is on their grind because rent is due and rent is as high as a giraffe’s ass (lol). Aint nobody got time to be acting like they got more than what they really have. And for that it kinda makes the city an honest city ( if that makes any sense).

Famous people can be seen anywhere at any given time. I guess it was about a month and a half ago I was in Duane Reade Drug Store and saw Diana Ross. Not really paying any attention just getting something quick, I was standing in line and a lady tapped me on my shoulder and asked me if anyone ever told me I look like a young Janet Jackson. I turned to answer her and what do ya know it was Diana Ross. I asked if I could take a picture and just like the polite Diva she is sad No (lol). Of course celebrities are always hanging out at the hotel I work at. I had the pleasure of accidently walking in on Plexico Burrass while paying his water bill. I was so embarrassed. I ran out so fast that I don’t think he heard me say sorry (lol). But in my defense I knocked on the door before opening the restroom. Thankfully famous people are easy to identify unlike the homeless people.

I can’t tell you how many times I have almost walked right on top of a homeless man or woman. They sleep all over the dog gone city…OMG. Sometimes which is sad but they will blend in with the trash. I use to feel terrible for them and give them a few dollars but there are so many of them when I’m walking to and from work that I had to stop because if I kept it up I’d be sleeping right next to them on the street.

I will say as much as I love the city I don’t plan on staying out here forever. I see moms catching cabs to take their kids to school or pushing a stroller through all this walking traffic and it looks more frustrating than fun. I really haven't seen much eye candy in the city other than the bellman at my job and that could be because I work the worst shift ever in life. He's extremely tall and built like a lineman. I don’t like him in a way of dating him but I wouldn’t mind him being my maintenance man (if ya know what I mean, but he has a girl friend which totally sucks) I’m still holding out for Calvin Johnson, (lol). I'm somewhat talking to my gentle giant in Dallas, but he is really dragging his feet so I'm not really sure it will last too much longer. I feel like if I have to ask you where this is going then its probably not headed in the direction I want it to go. Then again I could be wrong, only time will tell.

The truth of the matter is home is always home. No matter where I go I still would somehow in a way rather be home. I've declared my marriage for sometime next year so I'm hoping my husband is home.

Til Next Time
Simply Lola