Making Progress

It’s the holiday season and for the first time in a long time I will not being going home for the holidays. Duty in the retail world calls and I have to be at work on Black Friday at 6am (yah me). I’m really sad about missing Thanksgiving because Thanksgiving is a big deal for my family, it’s the time I get to see all my family and extended family, like my grandmother, grandfather, uncles, aunts and cousins. It’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that I will be having Thanksgiving dinner with my store manager, but I’m managing to be ok with this situation. The worse part about it all is that I am going to miss the big Dallas Cowboy Thanksgiving party they throw every year.It's the one party my friend Robin and I kick it really hard and have absolutely nothing to show for it the next morning but a hang over ...don't judge us (lol). I must admit being away from home isn’t so bad anymore because at least now I’m making progress with my dream.

When I first moved back to Atlanta I was excited. I felt like I was making a move here for the third time and this time my world of dreams would come true. I made a vision board, read every “self help” book known to man and fasted and prayed. I did everything to make sure this year would be the best year of my life. I just knew 2011 was the year that love, romance, and music would all come together and I would be the new poster child for “Dreams Do Come True”. Tragically that is not what happen to me. I get here only to struggle finding a job, and struggle with dating and just struggle. Thankfully things have turned around. I have manage to record more music (I’m trying out pop music….don’t judge me, I’m finding my way, lol). I sang at a night club and a very nice man offered to be my vocal couch. I must admit I love vocal lessons because I learn so much about my voice and it keeps me fresh. I thought having a fashion stylish/ image consultant was someone I would hire when I started walking the red carpets of major music awards, but after I met an up and coming fashion stylist and he broke it down to me about the importance of having a marketable image I signed up to be his client. So far he is transforming me into a Mega Super Star Pop singer and I like it. I don’t have a huge major deal or making strong head ways but I do like the fact that things are finally coming along.

Taking vocal lesson is something every singer should do because it’s really good exorcize. I always thought I’d be an R&B singer but I kinda like singing pop. I like the fact that it’s so many harmonies in creating a popular sound. Image is just as important music, people want a whole package when it comes to an artist. The point of it all is I’m still in Atlanta and I am making progress with my music career. My love life however is another story. I attempted to get a jump off but he was young and he talked to much. So I’m still stuck with showing myself some love for the time being (lol). But no worries friends, I am sure once football season is over Calvin Johnson of the Detroit Lions will find me and fall in love ...with me of course (lol)

I realize that I’ve looked at that big picture so much that I never stopped and appreciated the small pieces that make it up. One thing I’ve learned this year is to take progress one day at a time and believe that for anything to happen overnight there’s lots of preparation. For some reason many of us waste a lot of days in our life waiting for life to happen, waiting for a moment to change us into greatness. The truth of the matter is the best way to spend our day is make progress toward our goal, our dream. Small changes add up to huge transformations. So to my friend, who is following his or her dream, keep making progress. Eventually it will all add up.

Til Next Time
Simply Lola

The Man With The Plastic Penis

Before I start with my “Once Upon A Time” story I have to make a disclaimer. The story I’m about to tell was told to me by my mother. Now it’s my understanding that she got this story off the internet, and well we all know that internet may or may not be true…but anyway, here it goes.

Once upon a time there was a man who fell in love with a single mother of five. The two dated for a few months. They had a lot in common and enjoyed each other’s company. In fact they spent so much time together that the wealthy single man quickly got attached to her children and became a father figure in their lives. The man decided to ask for the single mother’s hand in marriage. In as much as the mother of five wanted to say yes to his proposal she couldn’t. She couldn’t say yes because there was one small (more like huge) problem that she couldn’t get past. The problem was that perfect gentleman had a plastic paint brush (i.e. penis). Because of his plastic situation he would be very limited with their coloring activity. Although she didn’t want to have any more children she’s a woman with needs. Needs that need to be met in unlimited ways by coloring activities. Her family was very upset and disappointed that she turned down the perfect gentleman all because of his silly little plastic painrtbrush.

After my mother told me this story she said to me “I don’t understand how single women cry, beg, and whine for God to send them a good man and when he does yall (indirecty including me in "yall") turn him down all because he can’t stick his thing I ya”. Of course my grandmother agreed with my mother saying “ shoot it don’t matter who ya marry cause when they get to be about 65 it don't get hard amd they can’t go no more (ROLMAO). As I listen to both my mother and grandmother talk about this plastic penis situation I thought to myself, it’s easy for them to talk, they are married to perfectly normal painters with functioning paintbrushes....well as least my mother is my dad isn't 65 yet(lol).

It’s amazing how single women are critized for not settling and men are respected for not settling. When a woman is asked what it is she wants in a man most of the time she has a generic answer…like, I just want him to be a loving, respectful God fearing man. She’ll rarely be honest and say, I want a wealthy attractive man who is loving, respectful, God fearing with a decent size penis that will make me sing octaves I never thought I could ever reach (lol). The single woman that disagrees with this statement is the control freak workaholic that everyone prays for to get laid so that she can release some of her tension and no longer be the angry bitter bitch(lol). As a single woman, if we publicly vocalized our honest wants and desires from a man we would be considered shallow. We’d have friends and family saying what we want is too much, and we should just let God give us what he wants for us because he knows our needs. I am cool with God knowing and supplying my needs but my needs better not come with a plastic penis (lol). Forgive me but I like most single women have been playing with plastic vibrating objects to pass the time for when I say “I do” (lol) If I am going to continue to cum with a generic object then I should be forever committed to a dildo (lol).

Men however can get away with expressing their demands. When a man is asked what he wants in a woman he confidently responds by saying, well she’s got to be bad ( as in fine),cook , clean, and give great head. And all his friends and family will say is,…well at least he knows what he wants. Clearly this is a double standard but that doesn’t mean I or any other single woman has to accept this foolishness.

I feel like the mother of five children past up on a good man with a plastic penis should not be judge as a shallow, picky woman. Hell, if she only wanted to be eaten out every time she had a sexual urge she’d be a lesbian. Clearly this woman has her issues too…she’s got five kids. But even with her issues she shouldn’t have to settle. I get that nobody is perfect and that most people will have 80% of what I want and 20% 0f what I can do without. In my 80% there is no compromising in regards to a well endowed paint brush with powerful moves that will put me to sleep …but that are just me.

To my friend who is considering settling for a man with disappointing short comings. I must say don’t. If you settle for 20% and not the 80% you’ll hate yourself in the end. Further more men don’t settle, and the ones that do are heavy weight cheaters. Clearly I could be wrong but I could very well me right. So what if your friends and family judge you based on what you want, they’re your wants your needs, and your desire. You have to live with you and your decision. Hey, I want Calvin Johnson the Wide Receive for the Detroit Lions (lol)…I don’t care that my mother wants me to marry a preacher… that’s not what I want. If nothing else be confident in knowing that you and even I don’t have to settle.

Til Next Time
Simply Lola

A Hawaiian Vagina Monolog

It’s been awhile since I’ve written about my exciting life. I wish I could say it’s because I’ve just signed my first major deal with Warner Brothers and currently recording huge hits, while finding time to make out with my hot WR boyfriend Calvin Johnson (lol), but that hasn't happen yet (notice I say...yet, lol). The truth is I’ve have been busting my butt working my retail part time job full time so that I can attend my good friend and former college roommate wedding in Hawaii. Let me just say getting to this island wasn’t easy, I have had to beg, borrow and steal hours at work just to make sure I had enough money to eat over priced cheese burgers from McDonald’s. From the time my friend Jocelyn dreamed of the day she’d get married I promised her that I would sing her favorite song “That’s All” by Dorothy Dandridge at her wedding. When I first made this promise I was senior in college with a bright future as a super star ahead of me (lol). Ten years later I’m still fighting for my dream with broke pockets (lol).

I thought paying for the trip was the hard part but clearly it wasn't. Since I knew a lot of my fun would be water related I decided to prepare myself for fun in the sun by getting a Brazilin wax. The only attractive place for hair to be coming out of a woman is on top of her head, anywhere else is just terribly tacky and disgusting (lol). When I arrived for my Brazilin waxing appointment I was greeted by a rude older Asian woman who gave me two to three word directions like, you sit, you lay down, you open, you breath. Being that is was my first time I insisted on asking a few questions before she got started. I politely said excuse me ma'am but if you don't mind there are few things I'd like to ask before you get started. Giving me the "annoyed, what you want to know” stare , she says with an old Asian lady attitude, yes. I asked her how hot was the wax, and how painful is this procedure. She responds by saying; wax not too hot, and hurt just a little bit, but boyfriend will like it. I smiled and said; oh I don't have a boy friend I'm going to Hawaii. She says; oh, show boy you like and he will like you and be boyfriend for you. I'm thinking to myself, you mean to tell me all I have to do is flash my bare vagina to a boy I like, and that will seal the deal on a boyfriend (lol) I think I’ve shown my tail to enough men to know that clearly doesn't work (lol). Anyway I laid down on the table and spread my legs. The mean old Asian applied the wax on my private parts and next thing I know she says; take deep breath, and proceeds to rips. I jumped up so fast gasping for air, praying Oh Jesus, please keep me near the cross. I really wanted to just get up and run out the spa, but I figured nobody wants to say a woman running down the street with a half waxed vagina (lol). So I laid back down and took another deep breath and bared the pain of yet another dreadful rip. When she finished she gave me a mirror and said; see look, you like, look sexy. Still taken back by the pain I just smiled, put my panties back on headed home.

When l told my grandmother about my painful experience she said; you know shouldn't take all the hair  from down there because ya coochy could catch a cold and get to coughing...(clearly I have no idea what that means). She said that’s what its down there for to keep it warm. Unsure of where she was going with her theory I decided to just end the whole conversation altogether. I did however tell my grandmother that the rude Asian old lady told me if I show a boy my Brazilian wax he will like me. Of course she had to respond, telling me; don't go flashing ya tail to those men down there. You don't what know what they got that will kill you. She instructed me to keep my legs close, don't swim out to far from the shore, and leave the Hawaiian folk alone cause aint nobody got no money to come find me if I come up missing.

Hawaii was nice and the wedding was absolutely beautiful and very expensive. The beaches were peaceful and so pretty. The men were nice but I followed my granny’s orders and kept my legs closed (lol). I did however feel a little breeze around my private area whenever the wind blew...paranoid by what grandmother said I quietly prayed that my coochy wouldn't catch a cold or start to cough (lol).

To my friend who is thinking about going to Hawaii, I say go but keep your legs close, don't swim out to far from the shore, and leave the Hawaiian folk alone cause aint nobody got no money to come find you if you come up missing. As far as Brazilin waxing…well it’s painful but worth it. I’m not sure if it’s a man magnet but who knows maybe when I find a boy I like I flash my tail and see if the old Asian’s lady theory works rather do what i granny has instructed me to do.

Till Next Time
Simply Lola

A Sleepless Night

It was 2:45am the day after my birthday and I was wide awake. I couldn’t sleep. It’s like my mind had taken a life of its own and I tragically surrendered to it. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I didn’t have to get up at 6am to cook breakfast, make lunches and get two kids ready for school. The way I’m talking one would think I was in a colorless marriage but I’m not it’s just the day and the life of a nanny. So why was I up so late…beats the heck out of me but I was, watching the Rachel Zoe Project on BRAVO. After about the third episode my thoughts began to sound like the way she talks…. Like, Oh My God, like literally I’m going to die if I don’t go to SLEEP!!!) In as much as I wanted to lie about being unsure as to why I was wide awake I knew exactly the reason for my insomnia. I was up because I’m afraid that if I went to sleep I will wake up still wanting to be anywhere but where I am.

I went on a date with this guy I meant at a place I sang at the night before my birthday. I must say he was a true gentleman, opening both my car door and the front door at the restaurant door for me and even pulling out my chair at the table we were seated at. It was sad that I totally forgot the acts of a gentleman because when he went to pull my seat out at the table I assumed that was the seat he wanted to sit in (lol), and I thought being a gentleman was a lost art to say the least.

As usual on a first date we both talked about where we were from and what brought us to Atlanta. I told him about how I moved back here to help a friend and further my music career. He moved to Atlanta because he got fed up with only making the practice squads of the NFL teams. I found that funny considering we were at a sports bar watching Monday night football (lol). I asked him if he missed playing he said no. He said he felt that he had given the game his all and now it was on to the next faze of his life. I totally agreed with him and explained to him that was how I was feeling about singing. I had spent so much of my life giving to my love of music that I was to exhausted to give anymore. Forgetting that he had already heard me sing he disagreed. He explained that he was very attracted to me because when he saw me sing I appeared confident and posed. He found the way I sang very sexy because I made it look as simple as me breathing and that the way I performed made him want to get to know more about me. Blushing from cheek to cheek I said to myself, and myself said huh, I said no matter how charming this man is I was not coloring with him on the first date, I am too old to have hoe moments (lol). After taking all the compliments I could take I quickly change the subject to fantasy football and told him how people in my league laughed at me for picking Cam Newton for my quarterback. He picked up on me changing the subject and we ended the night by laughing at his stories as a practice squad professional. When he dropped me off at my car he said to me that he could look in my eyes and see how what I love the most had broken my heart and that even though my true passion had given me the blues I should keep going. His words were sweet and so were his lips (lol). The freak in me wanted to attack him in a match of tongue wrestling but I thought “What Would Jesus Do” so instead I thanked him for a great night and gave him a good Christian hug ( my mother will be so proud of me).

In my restless night of tossing and turning while flipping from Rachel Zoe Project to the NFL Network all I could think about was that I’m 31 now and have no idea what the hell is going on with my life. There are days that I worry that I wont get married or even sing professionally. I worry that because I don’t know what’s next for me I’ll make the wrong move putting me in an even worse position and leaving stuck where I am. I know I wont be a nanny for my friend forever but I don’t know what will happen next for me either. My date was right, my dream has broken my heart but there's still more of me to give. I will always be a singer no matter what, that’s just part of who I am. What I do know is all this worrying is only going to give bags under my eyes, and ththats a bad look for a sexy single singer(lol).I can’t keep being afraid to go to sleep because I don’t want to face tomorrow. Therefore I made a “No worries” box and wrote on a small sheet of paper that said "I will not be afraid of what I don’t know and wont where worry bout where I'm going because I can only go up from here.


To my friend that’s having sleepless nights, there’s a simple scripture that says “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you, Psalms 55:22. After reading these words it’s clear what you and I both have got to do if we’re ever going to sleep.
Till Next Time
Simply Lola

Birthday Coloring(lol)....

I had planned on going home for my birthday but the car I’m was driving got broken into last week and the thieves attempted to steal the entire car but only successful destroyed the ignition. With the little money I have I’ve got to save and get the car fix. Therefore my finances have denied my request (lol). So I’m stuck here in the A.T.L. shawty (lol). I told my grandmother about my tragedy and after I confirmed I was alright she said “ Lord have mercy, niggas will steal the crack out of ya ass if they could (ROLMAO)”. I can’t believe I am turning 31, I mean where did the time go and most importantly what did I do with all that time that has gone by. Well for the majority part of that time I spent with just me.

When Happy Birthday comes to mind I think of birthday cakes, birthday cards, and thanks to singer/ songwriter Jeremiah there is now birthday coloring. My birthday is next Tuesday (September 13th) and there will probably not be any cake or coloring … tragic but true (lol). The closer it gets to my birthday I get more and more home sick. As you get older birthday gifts are few far and in between but I do have a birthday wish. Since I can’t go home I would like birthday cards from friends and family. My reason for this request is because although I’m far away a card will make me feel a little closer to home. Plus these past few weeks have been rough and I just want to feel love on my special day. So if you would like to be part of my long distance birthday party, please send a card and join the party. The address for this big party is 1339 Cascade Falls, Atlanta GA 30311.

To my friends and family, those near and far I can’t wait to enjoy the funny emotional words from you all.
Til Next Time
Simply Lola

To Be Famous

Jazmine Sullivan has a song on her most recent album titled “Famous”. The song is about her being a little girl with one dream to become famous. As she grows older she hopes that her one true passion/desire would fade from her thoughts, but instead of it fading away it becomes an anxious nightmare she must fulfill. I listen to this song almost every day, thinking about how when I was a little girl singing at my father’s church all I wanted to be was a famous singer. There's a line that sticks out most, when she says "No one wants to be invisible, everyone wants to be seen.I want to matter to the one, to girl watching me on TV and I want her to want to be me and I want to be her dream". My niece is who I do this for. Here I am standing at the front door of 31 still wanting to become what I dreamt about as a little girl.

There’s a place in Atlanta called Kat’s Café. On Thursday nights Kat’s holds a jam session for musicians and singers kinda like a open mic but it’s only open to those with talent (lol). A few weeks ago I went to Kat’s and participated in the jam session. I sang “Say Yes” by Floetry and received an encore. I was surprised at the audience response simply because usually hardly anyone ever receives an encore. On this particular night a few musicians from Anthony Hamilton’s band where there listening to me rock the house and invited me to the Jill Scott concert the next night. Jill Scott is one of my absolute favorite singers so I didn’t hesitate to accept their invite. Anthony Hamilton, Mint Condition DJ Jazzy Jeff and Duggy Fresh were Jill’s opening acts for the concert. I had the best seats in the house back stage (ya dig). I was like a little kid in a candy store over whelmed by all the talent walking past me rushing to get on stage. I have to admit I was extremely nervous at first. I had so much I wanted to ask but very little time and thinking about it now the concert was not the time or place for my 101 questions. To calm my nerves I had a glass of wine which turned into a few glasses of wine, needless to say I was very relaxed by the 3rd act. In fact I was so relax that I told DJ Jazzy Jeff that I was good friends with his friend Daylon. Confused about who Daylon ( my friend) was and how he was friends with him I explained that they’re only friends in his mind (lol). He laughed and then asked me had I ever thought about acting. I told him yes but I’m a singer at heart. When it was finally time for Jill Scott’s performance I quickly took my seat and watched her sing every favorite song of mine. I was surprised she never left the stage. She was absolutely amazing. She looked so beautiful and sang with so much heart and passion that it felt like time stood still just for her. As I watched her perform I felt like the little girl I once was, wanting to be a famous singer.

After the show I hung out with Anthony Hamilton’s band members and jammed to some of their original music they produced. They were impressed with my voice as well as my brilliant lyrics (lol). On my way home that night I couldn’t help but to become frustrated with my life’s journey. I get frustrated because I'm good, no really good at what I do and I just want my hard work to pay off. The more I thought about my one true passion the more anxious I became. My peaceful dream as a child was now my living nightmare. All I could think about was the one thing I’ve always desire to become and wondered if it will ever happen. The next morning I woke up and called my grandmother. I told her all about my night and how I just wished for my dream of being a famous singer would come to past. After listening to my frustration she said “Tisa there are plenty folks out there that can really sang and some are better than you, but you can’t grow weary”. She said, now the bible say ask and it shall be given to ya (I’m sure she was paraphrasing, lol) So we are gonna ask God to bless you with a good singing job that will let make enough money take care of yo folks and leave it alone ( clearly my dream isn’t just about me, lol). She told me, now bow ya head and close ya eyes and lets call on the Good Lord. And so I did as she insisted and let the Lord use her(lol). At end of the prayer she told it was our job to just stay faithful and thank God for answering oura prayer ( that’s how she talks, it’s our but she says oura, lol).

There are people who are fishing for their purpose and then there are those who are working on their purpose. I know I was born to sing and even though its get frustrating I have to keep the faith. Many will say let it go and just move on but what if Noah stop building the ark because he never saw rain. I realize sometimes faith isn’t about seeing the light at the end of the tunnel but just knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel while walking a dark path.

To my friend that just wants to give up because their exhausted from working hard. The song simply says after you’ve done all you can….just stand. You (who ever you are) and I have to remain faithful even when we grow frustrated. I’ll be honest I can’t see the light at the end of my tunnel right now but I’m walking my faith and not by sight.

Til Next Time
Simply Lola

Taking The Good With The Bad

I moved to Atlanta eight months ago for the third time to work as a nanny for a good friend of mine. On Saturday I took her three year old son to the barber shop to get a haircut. Since I was going to the YMCA to work out after he finish getting his hair cut I decided to bring his ten month old sister along. While waiting in the barber shop for the next available barber I sat down next to an older gentleman. I was rocking the ten month old in my arms and trying to keep the three year old from tiring up the place. As the old man watched me attempt to manage two babies he leaned over and said to me; (it’s such a shame that girls your age are having babies out of wed lock and not getting a good education). At first I was confused. Then I turned to him and said, sir I’m thirty years old with a college education and these are not my children. Puzzled by my response he just sat back in his seat in silence (I guess black really don’t crack, lol). Being thirty and not looking thirty is a blessing and a curse. The blessing is I can never leave home without my driver’s license and the curse is that apparently I look like a young teenage high school dropout/ mother of bastard children. What’s sad is this man decided who I was based on not even knowing anything about me. I notice the bible in his lap and thought about the scripture that states; he who is without sin let him cast the first stone. It amazes me how many of us who are in Christ forget to be Christians (tragic just tragic).

Last week I wrote a blog that really pissed a few people off. These people are anonymous ( I have no idea who to thank for keeping it real with me, lol). A few people left comments of their opinions about me and what I need to do with my life. It was clear from the comments that these people are not people that know me and that more people read my blog than I thought. Surprised by the repsonse I thought I’d take the time out this week just to let you know who I am and why I write my blog and respond to a few comments.

My name is Lola Wilson. I am a singer from Dallas Texas and a college graduate from Clark Atlanta University. I write my blog because as crazy as it may sound I’m not the only woman that feels the honest feelings that I feel. I want people to read my blog and just laugh, or at least be relieved that their life isn’t mine. And if it just so happen that who ever is reading my clever words is going through all that I’m going through at least they’re not alone ( picture it as me giving my testimony while riding through the storm) I’m a Christian and not a virgin (Thank God I’m not going to hell). I am crazy enough to sacrifice all that I have for the one dream I believe in. I’m loving, loyal and often confused about the road less traveled. I am confident in who I am sometimes and other times I’m concerned if I am becoming who I want to be….that me in a nut shell… now on to Q&A

I was told by a reader to get back to God, my response is there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t walk with him. Another one said I was trying too hard, well thank God that hard work pays off. Someone wrote ( assuming an angry black man) I have nothing to offer why would any one want to marry me in my state. Well I had a good job, a car, and my own place and I was still single… Damn if I do and Damn if I don’t (lol). Then he or she (I’m guessing a he) said I tell too much of my business… well stop reading my blog...period. My point is, this is me (ALL OF ME)I've accepted me for who I am. The words that I write are my truth, what I experience and what I feel. My intentions are not to hurt, belittle, disrepect or offend anyone. I thought about apologizing but I'm not sorry for anything i've written. I even wanted to take some of the comments down but I'm no coward. I accpet those who love me and I accept those who don't.I can't change people's opinons about me I can only be me. I've had many people criticize me in Jesus name and thats ok because in life I have to take the good with the bad. My granny, mother and even my sister think I'm a great person while others think I am going straight to hell on a scholarship (lol)and its better too have three to love me than none at all. My ending statement "To my friend" its a general statemet it's not directed at a particular person ( duh).

To my friend (if i have one,lol) please know I write for fun, and well if its offensive to you then you should not follow me on twitter or be my friend on facebook.

Til Next Time
Simply Lola