Being a woman in waiting at times can get hard. The longer the wait, the more desperate a single woman becomes. Not for love but coloring satisfaction. In our desperation we find ours shopping at toy stores more than Santa Clause shops for toys for children on Christmas day. A newly single woman starts off with a small toy to satisfy her coloring needs assuming that her little drought will soon be filled with wet orgasms. She eventually looks up and it’s been 6 months and she is once again at the toy store graduating too much bigger toys to play with. Then there’s the night where she realizes her battery operated vibrating devices have become her ultimate frustration and she is tragicly missing the crayons she once enjoyed coloring with. No longer caring about the day she’ll get married or if she’ll ever find “the one” she simply seeks out for a little fun and finds what I like to call a Secret Lover. He’s a secret because if her bible believing mother found out about behavior she’d go straight to hell on a scholarship (lol).
If I have described you in the previous paragraph have no fear I’ve been where you are and quite as it’s kept so has many other single women. So put your bogus battery operated devices in the night stand, go get your hair did, nails did, everything did, and get fancy! It’s time for you to shop for your very own Secret Lover. So what exactly is a “Secret Lover” I’m glad you asked. A secret lover is a man that you color with while waiting for Mr. Right. He is your good fix in disparate times and your fun escape from reality. To make sure you get all you can get for what it’s worth, I’ve decided to give you some guidelines before engaging in this experience.
1.He MUST be SINGLE in every way of the word. Meaning he’s only causally dating but nothing serious. I hear karma is a mutha so STAY AWAY FROM MARRIED MEN and men with a “live in”! Although you may feel like it’s not your problem because you’re not married, the truth is that it is your problem because you in fact are the problem. So if a guy tells you he’s in a relationship but it’s complicated, RUN! The idea of a secret lover is to have a little fun until Mr. Right is ready or comes along. Not too be a home wrecker.
2.Make sure your secret lover is a Mature and Respectful Adult. The whole point of this experience is to keep the booty calls a secret. Stay away from the 21 year old rookies that brag about their paint brush in the locker room and think the word lady has been replace with bitch. You don’t want strange men calling you because his dumb ass wrote your name and number on a bathroom stale, as a joke.
3.Make sure your Comfortable with and around him. He’s going to be painting your canvas. You’re not on a first date interview, relax. As long as you’ve taken care of your PTA (pussy, titties and ass) there’s nothing to worry about
4.There must be an ATTRACTION: Although the only thing you all share are late night creeps you shouldn't be terrified every time he turns on the bedroom lights.
5.Lastly, PROTECT YOURSELF. You are just practicing! No need to become a premature parent due to poor preparation. Also you don’t want to donate to AIDS awareness with a personal HIV story.
To my friend that is seeking a little TLC, follow these few steps and have yourself a good time. The whole point of having a secret lover is to enjoy hoe moments without being a hoe (lol).
Til Next Time
Simply Lola
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