Last week I had three dates with three guys who happen to have the same name, Jay. I thought it was a little odd to meet three guys with the nickname Jay but I really thought it was insane to know that Jay was short for same first name (lol). Jay #1 was a bartender who had way to many children for me to even consider a second date, Jay #2 was strange, he was as my grandmother would say, a little funny i.e. gay. How do I know this!?!? Because he has a cat as a pet and he calls her pussy … nuff said (lol). And then there was Jay #3, I met him at a sports bar while watching the game with friends. He was from Miami but does a lot of business in Atlanta. I found his confidence to be very sexy and after talking for about an hour or so, I figured he'd be someone good to go out with.
The night of our date he took me to The Oceania, which was nice. I played it safe and didn’t order from the coloring side of the menu (lol). I mean I liked him but not enough to color. While we waited for our food we engaged in light conversation. I told him that I moved to Atlanta to pursue my music career and also to find love. He then asked me what was I looking for in a man. I told him I wanted a man with who is smart, handsome, mature, respectful, honest and financially wise, meaning he’s not going to make it rain at a strip club with our mortgage payment (lol) . He then asked me if I was a sexual person?!?! Trying to figure out just where that question came from I answered, well I was conceived from sex so I guess that makes me a sexual being (lol). Of course he laughed and then asked me when was the last time I colored. Shocked and embarrassed by his inappropriate questions I went to the bathroom to do a self evaluation. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t giving off some type of aggressive coloring vibe that he could pick up on. I was wearing jeans and a tank top with a cute jacket, not an easy access mini skirt. Unsure of his motives I went back to the table and instead of answering his question, I asked him some questions. I asked him what his credit score was, and how much money did he make a year. Caught off guard with my questions he nearly choked and responded “ I don’t think that’s any of your business”. I told him I couldn’t have agreed with him more. I stood up from the table grabbed my purse, and calmly used my inside voice and I told him that his questions about my coloring affairs were rude and insulting. I even told him that taking me to a pricy restaurant for some pussy was downright tacky. Before he could even respond I walk away with my head held high out the door. When I got to my car I realized I forgot my damn food. My pride wanted me to just drive off but it’s not every day I get to eat fancy food from a fancy restaurant (lol). So I walked back in and asked the waiter if he’d go get my doggy bag off the table. As he gave me my food he whispered nice move (lol)
The next day I called my grandmother and told all about my terrible date. At the end of my complaining about my tragic experience, my grandmother said ; Well Tisa I hate that boy acted like that with you but all I can say is’ a nigga is a nigga, is a nigga, is a nigga and a pussy, is a pussy, is a pussy. When a nigga see a pussy sometimes they just lose the common sense the good Lord gave them. She said you did right by just leaving his ass sitting here, but honey if that were me I’d told him to go fuck a duck (ROLMAO). Needless to say I was no longer upset over my terrible date, thanks to my granny making laugh so hard I had to catch my breath (lol).
To my friend who finds themselves going on dates this jerks like Jay #3, trust me I feel your pain. But in the words of my grandmother, all I can tell you is a nigga, is a nigga, is a nigga and a pussy is a pussy, is a pussy. And when I nigga gets around a pussy they just lose the common sense the good Lord gave them.
Til Next Time
Simply Lola
