Finding My Way To Love

Friday, November 9, 2012

The R.E.D Album Release Party

Tuesday was not just a day that we elected Barrack Obama for a second term of presidency but it was also the day that Ne Yo's  album R.E.D was released. Which meant that my life was no longer my own.  let me tell you how it all started.

Tuesday afternoon lets say oh around about 3pm I get an email that says; hey we need to put together a album release party/dinner for Ne Yo and please make sure you have easels, artwork, roses, gift bags, Ne Yo's new CD, thank you cards and the list went on and on and on. The more I read the more I thought to myself omg, omg, omg, OOOOOOMMMMMGGGG. How in the WORLD am I gonna get this done by 8pm. Plus I had to make a guest list of executives that would be attending only to realize everybody and their momma thinks of themselves as a Very Important Person ( Jesus Keep Me Near The Cross). I had to start prioritizing fast quick and in a hurry. I assumed sense we have an intern that I would have help. But oh no this 35 year old honorary idiot had his own agenda and it had nothing to do with helping me put together this last minute party. When my counter partner asked him why wasn't he being pro active and assisting me with the party he says in a deep dumb voice : Well Lola aint ask me to do nothing. I thought to myself he can't be serious I have CC'd you on every email and split up a list of things to do so we can get the job done faster and you are sitting your fat butt in a chair saying I haven't asked you to do anything... how many ways do I have to say get your ass up and work without literarily pushing you out of this seat, but whatever the job gotta get done and you are a waste of thinking space in brain.

Moving forward I started making progress with getting decorations and confirming guest RSVP's and then out of no where I get hit with a phone call from Ne Yo's assistant asking me why didn't he receive an invitation to the party. I couldn't believe it. I was so annoyed that i had to take a step back take a deep breath and say Jesus Keep Me Near The Cross. After that I told him if he ever talked to me crazy again it would be the last words he'd every say and that he was Ne Yo's assistant so he's always invited where ever he goes you. He apologized and the air was clear. Pat myself on the back small fire put out. Now on to the other flaming issues.

I get to the restaurant  which was absolutely beautiful  and meet Brandyn the event coordinator's assistant. He was already working on the gift bags and me and my partner in crime Calvin started setting up the tables and placing Malibu Red product out. Let me just say this about Calvin, he is an absolute life saver, he really helped me pull this party off. Anyway things were still smooth until the doors open and uninvited guest entered the building.  Now I couldn't just say hey you can't be here because you aren't on the list cause these folks showed up with HNIC's of Def Jam and Motown.  All except for five girls who were invited by a tag along yes boy. Since he was no an HNICP or VIP I had no problem telling him that at $200 a plate they can't stay but are more then welcome to eat at McDonalds and meet the crew at Greenhouse. As for the rest of the uninvited guest that was a battle that I choose not to fight. Considering there were more people then setting I found myself sitting outside the private room right next to the kitchen, which was cool cause I wont be sitting on the outside for long. I'll the honored guest seated at the head table much sooner than later (lol).

The dinner turned out to a great success. Good food, and good people we some were good people (lol). Obama won the election and Ne Yo's R.E. D album is turned all the way up getting everyone hip and ready to head out to GreenHouse a popular night club in New York. and let me just add that this new album is really good, I mean timeless. It's absolutely amazing. Between  the restaurant and club I some how lost my phone,( this is just great). It's late and I forget that the buses are on a curfew from the storm to preserve gas. So it's like 2am I have no phone and I can't get home. So I go back to the office pull my paperless wireless bill up on the internet and start calling everybody I can think of except for my mom cause she'd ask to many questions until finally my friend Andre answered, thank you God. I told him to call the office at 7am to wake me up so I can go home get dress and get back to work ( long day, long night is an understatement, lol). He calls I go shower and change and get back to work on time mission complete.

After all the work I did the only person that gave me my props was my partner Calvin and my friend Daylon. But that was fine cause for the first time ever I can honestly say that I didn't need validation to prove that I am a hard worker or even a good worker. If no one else is proud of me  but me I'm okay with that. This job is a lot of work but I like it. I'm still not sure what I will get out of being here but I'm all the answers I need will be revealed in due time.

Til Next Time
Simply Lola

Thursday, November 1, 2012

From Gramercy Park Hotel To Compound Ent.

When I first moved to New York I interviewed for a executive assistant position at Compound Music Entertainment. For those of you who are not familiar with Compound Music it's singer/songwriter Ne Yo’s record label. And if you don't know who Ne Yo is well he’s responsible for writing a lot of songs you sing along to. His most popular song is "To The Left' the song Beyonce recorded for her B-Day album. Anyway I interviewed with them the first week I moved to New York. I stalked Compound Music for like a month, checking on the status of the resume/interview every other day. After a while I just gave up and accepted a front desk agent job at the Gramercy Park Hotel. I figured not hearing back from Compound was a blessing that I would learn to appreciate later in life or a bullet that I have successfully dodge and didn't know. Although I’m a true social light, working nights at the hotel wouldn’t be so bad. It’s a nice hotel that is overpriced for the rich and famous. If nothing else I could be a social media light and just tweet and comment on facebook all of he craziness that goes on, on my shift(lol).If you follow me on twitter or you’er my friend on facebook you have read my post about the crazy celebrities like Lindsey Lohand stealing everything including the bed sheets from the hotel, to the very wealthy white men getting drunk at our popular Rose Bar and making out with random women in our lobby (they don’t call it the sex palace for nothing, lol). 

I had no life outside of work (which I’m sure my mom was relieved by)and when everyone was out and about I was sleep or working. I had to endure beating off the brutal mosquitoes who aggressively attached my legs and thigh. I even managed to suffer through working with my psychopath night manager. It was clear my night manager was an overweight bitter woman who would grow old alone and house stray cats and dogs until her death. Given all of the reasons to hate my job I never complained because I was grateful. I was working a Union job which meant benefits and stability (two things I hadn’t had in a very long time) I figure I work at the hotel enroll into the New York Film school graduate from the Masters program in two years and go from there. And then out of nowhere I get call from Compound offering me a position as a executive assistant.

My initial thought was “Hell Yeah” but then I was like WAIT!!! I got benefits and stability , two things I am beginning to enjoy. Music is my life but the ability to actually purchase something and not pray the popular prayer “Please God let my card approve” at drug/ grocery store had become a way of life that I was enjoying greatly. I am starting to have actually money in my saving account not being used to cover overdrafts fees. This may not sound like much to some of you reading this but this was a new life for me and I liked it. So before my mouth accepts something my thoughts haven’t confirmed I have a few questions. And my first question was, how much is the pay and when do we get paid. She told me the offer, which happen to be a little more then what I am making at the hotel but I would be on a 60 day probationary period. I had just completed a 90 day probationary period at the hotel, did I really want go back through the stress of hoping I'd make the cut. Probationary periods are very stressful for me because all I think about is “Oh God, please don’t let me mess up”, and what if I do mess up I have to look for another job and then I’ll be kicking myself thinking why didn’t I just stay at that damn hotel. The more I thought about the job at Compound the more I realized that my thoughts were more negative than positive.

So then I did a quick reality check. I started to think what if I do a really good job and things go well. What if making this move is a great moved towards my real dream, like Jill Scott. She got a contract job painting walls at Jazzy Jeff’s studio. Who knows maybe Ne Yo could be around and in need of a back ground singer and what do ya know I could be like hey I sing and that’s the start of my huge career. Or maybe a producer from Good Music walks in and say I need a singer to demo out a few songs for Rihanna or Beyonce and I’m like hey I can demo them for ya… what do ya know bam the stars a line and I’m a huge success. Once I started to think about the opportunities that the job presented I started to realize that there was more to gain than lose. So I signed on the dotted line and now I am working for Compound Entertainment.

Am I nervous about leaving my comfort zone, of course I am. This is Black Entertainment I’m talking about here and nothing is stable about Entertainment especially black entertainement . But I have to think positive and believe for the best. Its so funny I’ve been in New York for only 5 months and I am making huge moves fast. Clearly this is all the will of God, but I realize his will can’t be done until I surrendered. By no means am I trying to put up a front like I’m a Saint cause Lawd knows I aint. I will drink a whole bottle of wine by myself and flirt with WR Calvin Johnson if ever present with the opportunity (don't judge me) but I will say this, I accepted what God has given me and showed him appreciation for it. And because I learned how thank God for what I had I was able to get what I wanted.

To my friend who really wants something, I say thank God for what you have, find comfort in what he’s given you. When you do this simple thing God will truly start to give you the desires of your heart. And when he gives it to you trust its gonna be scary to leave your comfort zone but in the end it will be so worth it.

Til Next Time
Simply Lola

Friday, October 12, 2012

New York Update

It’s a little over four months since I’ve move to the Big Apple and for the most part I’m not doing to bad. I am still sleeping on my friend Monica’s couch but focused on getting a place of my own. I enrolled into this performing arts program at the New York Film Academy so I am real excited about starting school in January. I’m still working at my crazy hotel and no I have not gotten use to the night shift. I was working what felt like a hundred jobs when I first got here but I quickly had to quit a few of them… well I was only working three but I quit Steven Madden. I loved the discount but my job title was the  “Up Stairs Girl” meaning I did nothing but stand up stairs in the men’s section of the store. Every time I had to go into work I felt like I was wasting my life away it's just a not work $9.50 an hour. Plus men from overseas always came in the store wanting to take pictures with me and of me, that was just weird and uncomfortable at same damn time (lol).  I figure if I need some extra money I’ll look into over time at the hotel. I get asked a lot about New York and if I like here or is it over rated and what makes it different than living in the south.

Well to be honest I really like here. The weather is quickly changing and I’m not really ready for cold and snow. It was so cold one morning I had to catch a cab from my job to the train station. The station is not that far but Lord have mercy when that wind started to blow it became unbearable (lol). There’s no denying that the city is very fast pace. If you’re real particular about your personal space New York City is NOT the place for you. My mom and sister came out to visit and they were so ready to walk until they realized they couldn’t keep up. My mom had no problem going any where that got us there by cab, we rode the train once and she was done. I think that had something to do with the homeless man sleeping across from us with his mouth wide open (lol). Public transportation get's really crowded really fast, especially in the afternoon. The food is just okay it’s not all that great. In my opinion they could use alot moe butta in a lot of things, and a lot more pork too. The Jews own most of Manhattan which means you get served blue cheese with your salad. Ranch dressing has become a delicacy(lol)

Working at night is safe for me because the night life here is crazy. Everyone knows how I love to party. Lord knows if i could find a job to kick every night of the week I'd be its best employee (lol) I went out for my birthday and had way too much fun. The DJ’s in New York play a variety of  music and I danced all night. In Dallas the DJ’s tend to only play down south music making UGK sound like a hot new release. The vibe and the people are just different. This not a place were you can fake the fonk. Because the south is a little slower and much cheaper it’s easy to pretend to be ballin out of control. But that mess don’t fly down here. It’s real clear that everybody is on their grind because rent is due and rent is as high as a giraffe’s ass (lol). Aint nobody got time to be acting like they got more than what they really have. And for that it kinda makes the city an honest city ( if that makes any sense).

Famous people can be seen anywhere at any given time. I guess it was about a month and a half ago I was in Duane Reade Drug Store and saw Diana Ross. Not really paying any attention just getting something quick, I was standing in line and a lady tapped me on my shoulder and asked me if anyone ever told me I look like a young Janet Jackson. I turned to answer her and what do ya know it was Diana Ross. I asked if I could take a picture and just like the polite Diva she is sad No (lol). Of course celebrities are always hanging out at the hotel I work at. I had the pleasure of accidently walking in on Plexico Burrass while paying his water bill. I was so embarrassed. I ran out so fast that I don’t think he heard me say sorry (lol). But in my defense I knocked on the door before opening the restroom. Thankfully famous people are easy to identify unlike the homeless people.

I can’t tell you how many times I have almost walked right on top of a homeless man or woman. They sleep all over the dog gone city…OMG. Sometimes which is sad but they will blend in with the trash. I use to feel terrible for them and give them a few dollars but there are so many of them when I’m walking to and from work that I had to stop because if I kept it up I’d be sleeping right next to them on the street.

I will say as much as I love the city I don’t plan on staying out here forever. I see moms catching cabs to take their kids to school or pushing a stroller through all this walking traffic and it looks more frustrating than fun. I really haven't seen much eye candy in the city other than the bellman at my job and that could be because I work the worst shift ever in life. He's extremely tall and built like a lineman. I don’t like him in a way of dating him but I wouldn’t mind him being my maintenance man (if ya know what I mean, but he has a girl friend which totally sucks) I’m still holding out for Calvin Johnson, (lol). I'm somewhat talking to my gentle giant in Dallas, but he is really dragging his feet so I'm not really sure it will last too much longer. I feel like if I have to ask you where this is going then its probably not headed in the direction I want it to go. Then again I could be wrong, only time will tell.

The truth of the matter is home is always home. No matter where I go I still would somehow in a way rather be home. I've declared my marriage for sometime next year so I'm hoping my husband is home.

Til Next Time
Simply Lola 

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

All Work With Little Time To Play

New York city is super expensive. I mean its nothing to burn through like a $100 bucks in an hour. I spend about $70 bucks a week on transportation alone. Food is a whole other story, because its New York City the price goes up for everything. Plus the city never sleeps so the clubs and bars on top of  catching cabs just makes for a life of bankruptcy (lol).Not only that but with the few auditions and submissions I have sent out with my head shoot and music have left directors and casting agents confused because clearly I don't look like the pictures. Which means new head shots.  With that being said I need money, as much money as I can get. Thankfully I am not a girl that's afraid of a little hard work so I've manage to not only get one job but three, yay me!!!, talk about a tired sista (lol). I am still working at the private bouquet style hotel in Chelsea , but I just recently got a part job at Steve Madden and then I am contracted out by my friend Ivory that works with the NBA for various stuff. I'm not sure exactly what Ivory does but what I do know is when she walks in a room everyone gets nervous and gets to work. She's really a Boss Chick.

The good thing about working three jobs is for the most part I like them all. On my first day of working at Steve Madden I got a free pair of shoes plus I get half off of everything in the store except for clearance.Considering I'm trying to save money this discount I'm getting could cause major interference(lol).

Working with the NBA rookies is so much fun. I mean how many times does a girl find herself being the center of attention among young millionaires, well with the exception of acrobatic strippers not many(lol). I just love the innocent compliments and flirting but I'm no fool. In as much as they are popular and rich they are also mostly big babies. After spending countless hours hearing them wine and cry about absolutely nothing I'm quickly reminded these future NBA heart throbs are more of a headache than my hearts desire, so I'll pass.One would think with all the money they are getting paid they would have less to complain about, but surely that is NOT the case. I kinda feel bad for them because not only has their lives changed but their entire family and a few friends lives have changed as well as.These kids are taking care of grown folks who they are not responsible for, tragic just tragic. Plus I really like my offensive guard. He's tall dark, handsome, and has really big hands and you know what they say about a man with big hands *wink*. To be honest I have no idea what "they" say about a man with big hands but I'm curious to find out (lol). I would much rather be tackled by him in a game of tongue of war than play hide and seek with a grown ass kid (lol). Who knows if all goes well I just might hand over the love of my life Detroit Lions WR Calvin Johnson to my dear friend Robyn....I'm sure she'd love that, but I digress.

The hotel is my full time job and its not so bad. It just sucks that I have to work the night shift, but even working nights has its perks. There's a really popular bar/ lounge within the hotel that a lot of famous people frequent often. When I say famous people I'm not talking about your black list B listers that live in the ATL shawty but Oscar winning, A list super stars. I mostly see them at their ultimate worse, usually drunk and hungover coming out of our private bar/ lounge no where near ready for the red carpet. My favorite is when super star athletes try to flatter me with unnecessary compliments  for a hookup on a room for them and their one night stand. I'm not naming any names up a popular defensive back came in the night before a preseason game and wanted a room for him and is lady friend. Now he was already gonna be fined like $10,000 for breaking curfew, when I told him the price of the room he said to me "I'm about to bust a $375 nut, I said no sir this nut is about to cost you $10,375 (ROLMBO)... Now will that be debt or credit gotta love the night shift.

With all these jobs being up for 24 hours has become a norm for me. Its nothing for me to hop on a train heading to one of my part jobs early in the morning only having to go to the hotel and work the night shift . My mornings have become my nights and my nights have become my mornings. There are some days more like most days I feel like I'm way in over my head. On those days I pray "Dear God, why have thou forsaken me?!?!. Then some how some way I find the strength to keep going, fighting for my dreams. The little time I get to play I spend sleeping or playing truth or dare with new crush. Did I mention I really like him, I think I did.(lol) The one thing about working is when I see people on facebook and twitter  out and about having a good time, living it up and I'm stuck behind a desk or on a sales floor ,its not fair. All I can think about is how their grass looks so much greener then mine. But then I have to remind myself that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I'm sure most of the people I see on social media living the good life probably don't have jobs and should be using their energy to find one but who am I to judge. I know working the way I am right now is just a means to an end and this to shall pass.

To my friend who spends most of their time working, hang in there. This wont be us forever we just got to keep our eyes on the prize and know that in the end it will be worth it.I know it's tiring but our day of rest is just around the corner.

Til Next Time
Simply Lola

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Pushing With Passion

There's a popular open mic spot called the Village Underground located in Soho, downtown New York. Many well respect musicians come out nightly and basically jam. Cheryl Pepsii Riley is the host on Monday nights. Cheryl was hot in the early 90's but most people remember her from Tyler Perry stage play "Diary of A Mad Black Woman" and from Full Force Unsung.  Anyway, many independent artist come out and perform with the house band to gain exposure. Rumor has it that a lot of major record executives come out looking for the next hot thing. Of course this rumor is told practically everywhere there’s an open mic so you never know. Since its New York I feel like it could be some truth to it so I signed up this past Monday for the show. Being that its New York and the host isn't some random chick that can barely hold a note I was a little nervous. This was a new environment for me with people I have never seen in my entire life. At least in Dallas and Atlanta I would know at a few people in the audience. Especially in Dallas, my friend Lauren always has my back and shows support but she’s not here. Monica's my only true close friend here in the Big Apple and besides her there's not even so much as a distance cousin nearby.  It’s a scary thought but I am literally out her by myself. Since this was a new spot I didn't want to go alone. Monica has one of those real corporate jobs that actually require her to produce work, which means she works like a million hours a day (lol). To ask her to come out and play wouldn't be ideal so instead I begged my friend Daylon from Dallas who was in town for work to come and be my support team. Daylon's job is fun work that requires him to enjoy himself and entertain others (lol). I'm sure there’s more to his occupation but whatever that "more" is doesn't demand him to be up before 11am (God, I envy him, lol). Thankfully Daylon agreed to go with me. However I'm not sure if he agreed to go because he felt sorry for me or if it was because we would be right around the corner from his old friends Heathcliff and Clair Huxtable house from the Cosby Show. I'm guessing it was a little bit of both (lol).

The show started at 10:45 but I had to be there at 9:45.  We were warned at the door that due to the large crowds seating is limited and people are seated at the various tables for crowd control. My thoughts were great not only do I have to worry about if I'm singing the right song tonight but I might have to make small talk with a group of strangers seated at our table, OMG the pressure is on. As we sat there waiting for the show to begin I had knots in my stomach because I didn't know what to expect. All I knew was first impressions were lasting impressions and failure was not an option. The longer we waited the more anxious I became until finally the first artist of the night was called to the stage. He was an Asian guy singing Ribbon In The Sky. When I first saw him I thought hmmm, this might be interesting and sure enough it was. This guy was terrible, I mean Lord have mercy, Jesus keep me near the crosee this guy was a HOT Mess. If Steve Wonder was there he would have found a way to see this clown make a fool of himself.  Needless to say I relaxed a little because even if I didn't do a great job I definitely would do a much better job than him.

Relieved that the worse had already been done, I thought I'd do just fine. I was finally called to the stage and my song of choice was Crazy by Cee-Lo Green. The band and I started the song out mid tempo with a real sexy groove (it was hot) and I ended it with a bang. I hate to brag,... no I don't, but I killed it in a good way. I put Dallas on the map in the NYC. The Asian guy wasn't a hard act to follow but clearly I was (lol). I made such a good impression on the lead drummer that play for the house band stopped eating his chicken wings and got up from his table and joined in on our set. My first impression was not only a lasting impression but a very good lasting one (all smiles).

My friends and family are always telling how proud they are of me. I always say thanks but in the back of my mind I'm always thinking why are they so proud of me I mean I haven't done much since graduating from college but move from pillar to post as my grandmother would say. But in Hine sight I guess there is something for them to be proud of. Here I am living in a city with one friend and no family still pushing with passion. It takes a lot of guts to do a lot of things in life but it takes faith to have the guts to do your hearts desire.

To my friend still pushing with passion keep pushing and just to let you know I'm proud of you. We may not have changed the world by curing cancer but we are concurring our fears of failing through faith

Til Next,
Simply Lola

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Am I Too Old For New York

Watching countless episodes of Sex and the City really prepared me for the busy hustle and bustle of The Big Apple. Carrie Bradshaw was right; people living in New York are in a hurry looking for three things.  They’re either looking for a job, an apartment, or if they’re a handrail sexual woman that just hit 30 with a ticking biological clock, then they’re looking for love. As for me, I have one out of three. I just landed a job at this really fancy hotel in Chelsea. I can't reveal the name because of its image, but I will say that I have never in ALL!!! my life came into contact with so many American Express black cards ...(Lord, Jesus keep me near the cross). My great friend Monica has so graciously loaned her very comfortable couch and closet space to me until I figure out the apartment system in this crazy city. So I guess technically I have two out of the three and that’s not that bad( it’s so crazy it seems as though every time I write a blog I’m either crashing on a friends couch or moving in an extra bed room, oh the story of a starving artist , lol). Anyway, I’ve started dating (more like talking) to a very fine young gentleman that I've known for a while. I don't want to say too much but I will say that I have a hot date scheduled with him the week of my birthday "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME". I really like him and he's crushing on me to, but we’re taking it slow. If all goes well with my new love, I just might have three out of three soon (dear God let’s hope so).

Living in New York is definitely different from living in the South. For one I am always mistaken for being anything but African American. I’ve been Dominican, West Indian  and  “Other” meaning anything but Black. Clearly it’s my 18 inch weave that throws the people of the city off (lol). At first it was frustrating to me but I've learn how to make it work in my favor....I'm whoever you want me to be when the drinks are on you, expect when it's time to go home... I am NOT that girl, I'm a southern lady (lol). In New York that’s not saying much at all considering manners is a lost form of art. The food here is just okay, they don’t season their food. Presentation is more important than flavor from what I can gather… well unless it’s a hot dog off the truck. People walk really walk fast here and its just best to get out of their way. I feel sorry for the tourist in Time Square because the natives aggressively push them out the way. I’ve learned very quickly to not even waste my time greeting people because they just give you this pissed off look like “why are you speaking to me” and I'm looking like "well never mind". It's safe to say I've had to do a lot of adjusting but for the most part I'm feeling like the move to New York was a good one. I finally feel like I am stabilizing myself.

I've been on a few auditions which have been a great learning experience for me. It's taught me that my head shots from 5 years ago must be burned and news ones must be made ASAP. Also the music I have recorded is a little dated so I got to get on the grind and record new music. Lastly I have got to do some major work on my monologs, making them as sharp as possible. Acting is reacting and my reacting is not giving me the reaction I need from casting agents. To say the least I've got a lot, I mean a lot of work to do. I'm not gonna lie I do question if I'm too old to start basically all over yet again. I look at people my age on facebook and twitter living the good life and I'm like damnit I hate them (lol) But then I use my hate as fuel to keep going, I’ll catch up with the high life folks sooner or later, I’m praying much sooner than later(lol). Even if I am too old to start all over yet again I'm an able body with passion and drive running through my bones. As long as I have that then I’ll keep going, well at least until I meet a man that will marry me and knock me up (lol). Then I can blame him and the kid for throwing me off course (lol).

And on that note, to my friend who is my age or older wondering if now is a good time to call it quits, I'm telling you DON’T. Colonel Sanders didn’t start frying chicken til he was 65. Now look at him… dead and rich, lol.  At least we’re not that old, which means there’s a possibility that we’ll get spend a little of our rewards while living (lol). If nothing else, just keep going until you find a man who will marry you and knock you up. Then you can stop and blame them for not seeing your dreams through (lol).

Til Next Time
Simply Lola

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Black Politics to Jewish Good Times

I’m staying with my friend Monica for a little while until I can get a place in the city. I’m sending out my resume to every temp agency and craigslist listing that I can find because in as much as I am dying to become the next big super star recording artist, in the mean time a sista has gotta eat. Anyway Monica has a friend who invited us to a Black Political Party event in Soho (which is like downtown New York). The event was mainly to promote Aids awareness and network with young black professionals. I was excited about attending the event but a little hesitate because although I’m black but my profession has nothing to do with politics ( well it does and it doesn’t, I mean there are politics in everything these days). I agreed to go because I’m still in tourist mode which means I want to go and do any and everything I can possibly do plus I still need a job ( you never know, maybe I run into someone who’s hiring up and coming super star recording artist).

We were late arriving to the networking event because of traffic. Of course I figure it wouldn’t be a big deal considering it was a Wednesday evening and  who really goes out on a Wednesday!?! Clearly I was wrong apparently Wednesday nights for New York locals is the night to go out, which means everybody is out. When I realized we were standing in very long line having to wait for people to leave because the venue was over its capacity, I quickly thought “Lola, we ain’t in Dallas anymore”. See in Dallas when a promoter says “Get there early” it’s lingo for “Please come to my party” but when a New York promoter says get there early that’s lingo for “if ya on time, ya to late”. Thankfully we didn’t have to stand in line too long because we were with a friend of Monica’s who had a friend who was being honored at the event. Anyway, the club was totally sheik, and polished, very sexy and just so New York. There were photographers and red carpet, and famous people, not super star famous but back in the day famous people. Like Salt&Peppa and Melissa Ford (which was a shock, but apparently she’s a up and coming socialite in New York, so I hear).

I attempted to move around the overwhelmingly over crowded venue. I mean it was so many people in this little bitty space it felt like Texas heat in mid day August ( Jesus keep me near the cross ). The way the men and women dressed and interacted with each other I kind a felt like I was in a new era of the Harlem Renaissance. Everywhere I turned I bumped into a corporate professional by day but a passionate poet by life or a lawyer by occupation but a strong community activist by passion. And then there was me an up and coming recording artist fitting right in. I was in awe of what I rarely saw in Dallas and very excited to be among the revival of the Harlem Renaissance. I enjoyed talking black politics but it was getting a bite boring. So we left and headed uptown to a roof top party where we in the company of the popular girls from the reality show Empire Girls (I don’t know much about them other than one of them was part of the group Cheetah Girls but is known as the ex-girlfriend of Rob Kardashian) and very cute Jewish gentlemen.

The roof top party was a lot of fun.  The Empire Girls however, very boring... it was a kind of pretentious, but that’s my opinion. There was some type of young professional Jewish networking event going which mixed in with the “Empire Girls” party and that is what made super fun. There were two really cute Jewish guys who entertained us with conversation and complimentary cosmopolitans. They talked to us about how the Jewish single girls were really trying to sale themselves to a wealthy Jewish guy. But the wealthy Jewish guys were only buy what they were selling for one night (it looks like Jewish single women are having the same struggle of black women), I guess some things are the same no matter what race you are (lol). In the midst of our Jewish good time I met Andrew. Andrew loved my Texan accent and asked if we could exchange numbers and go out for happy hour. I told him that I’m a huge fan of football but not as much as I am a huge fan of cheap drinks between the hours of 4&8pm (lol).  So you know what that means…yep I got me a date with a Jew. Jesus was Jew so I should be ok, then again let us pray.

New York for the most part is absolutely great. I am fitting in like I've been here all my life...well that’s until I open my mouth and talk, clearly I'm straight from the south. However I’m still unsure of my random move I’ve decided to stick with and work through it.

Until Next Time
Simply Lola

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

In A Crazy Stupid Dumb, New York State of Mind

Last night I traveled by Southwest airlines to Nuttly, NJ with only one bag and one dream (sounds like a start of a beautiful story). I traveled with my set that I can do anything because I believe that I can... Flyyyy. Yes, I believe that I can touch the Sky, I can see me running through that open doors (and I forgot the words after that, lol) but my point is I believe I can fly. I woke up this morning inspired, revived and very excited. This lil ole southern bell from the great state of Texas has finally made it the Big Apple (well not quite, I have to catch a 15min. bus ride to the city). I was feeling so happy that I sang every fast Kirk Franklin gospel song I think of in the shower. I got dress, got on the bus and rode all the way to Manhattan in good spirits. Then the bus stop and my feet hit the pavement of 5th and some other street and realized I have no idea where I was going. In the middle of Time Square blending in with tourist I thought to myself "Houston I have a problem". Thankful my friend Monica pointed me in the right direction. She lead to where she was and I had my first meal in Manhatten. The check all the revival exciting emotions quickly left my mind, body and soul and it hit me "oh shoot, I need a job".
I was supposed to be working for the NBA draft this week but apparently something fell through with my credentials and well one thing I have learned is “ things happens”… yet again another broken promise, but its no ones fault I would have come out here anyway. Well, I’m here now and I can’t sing another sad love song because that song only pays Toni Braxton's bills (then again, it all depends on whose listening, lol). The good news is I did however manage to line up some interviews and contact some people about some gigs and potentical job opportunities  so hopefully I’ll get some call backs shortly.
Never the less I have decided to fast and pray through this journey in New York City. Mainly because I’m limited on funds and its going to take a whole lot of leaning and depending on Jesus to get me through my “pursuit of happiness.  Since I could only afford a one way ticket for me I figure my friends and family can come along for the ride via internet. I’m gonna do my best to write something every day. I’m human so if I slip up and forget but please forgive me.
I know that this move has got to be the craziest thing I have yet to do and some people are calling it dumb and even stupid. I could defend it and say I’m just having the guts to believe in myself. But the truth of the matter is that this move is crazy, stupid and even dumb but hey sometimes it takes something crazy stupid and dumb to force us into doing our hearts desires. The worse thing that can happen is a fail tragically. I’ve failed before so I’ll manage to survive through faith. I mean if I can survive time spent in jail I can manage New York by way of Newark.  So dear friends in as much as I would love a nice donation from you to the  Crazy, Stupid, Dumb fund for big dreams, all I ask is to keep me in your prayers.
Til Next Time
Simply Lola

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

In The Middle of Moving Forward

I’m back in Atlanta and I have no clue what to do next. And what I mean by “ I have no clue what to do next” is my schedule date to move to New York has been pushed back yet again. My friend that I  am making the drive with is on dialysis for his kidneys was informed that the center that he would be receiving treatment from doesn’t have a bed for him just yet and the place that I will be living isn't all the way ready. This move to New York has become more frustrating than fun. It’s like one thing after another which is making me question if this is something I should do. I kind of feel like I’m so accustom to doing things the HARD way that anything EASY is something I don’t trust (which could be a major problem in my thought process). I feel like I’m right in the middle of moving forward which is putting me at a stand still. Being in the middle of moving forward I stop to look both ways. I look at what lies ahead and then I look back at what is familiar and safe. As I look in both directions I question what to do. Do I move forward (New York) unsure of what will happen or do I go back (Dallas) to where it’s safe.
Before I left home a few weeks ago, my dad came in my bedroom and gave me a hug so tight th at it said everything without words,I could feel his thoughts. His hug said, Tisa I don’t want you to go, I don’t understand why you have to go but either way I love you, and believe in you, and I support you. Before he released me from his arms he whispered a prayer. He thanked God for me and asked him to protect me and make all my dreams come true ( You hear that  God, thou shall make me a Super Star Recording Artist  and Detroit Lions WR Calvin Johnson my baby daddy but i'll settle for my boyfriend, lol).   Just writing this brings tears to my eyes. To make light of our sappy farewell I told my dad not to worry I will be just fine I know how to scream stranger danger. He didn’t laugh so I guess it was a bad joke. My mom carried me to my sister’s school because she would be taking to the airport. And on the way to my sister's my sweet, sweet mother gave me an ear of do’s and don’ts. Do this and don’t do that, make sure I buy two good church dress (um, not sure what that has to do with anything), and don’t sell my soul to the devil (yes mom I'll do my best). In as much as I was annoyed by her sermon of “Lola Natisa Wilson thou shall do and not do”, I listened because I knew everything she was saying to me was coming from a place of love. My sister has so much going on she just dropped me off and said she loved me....short, sweet, and simple.
On my plane ride I thought about how I am the queen of set backs and delays.Everytime I feel like I am making great strides it never fails I am somehow hit with a huge set back. Having to experience setback after setbback and delay after delay I often wonder why I haven't thrown up my hands and said FUCK IT!!! I QUIT. The crazy thing about true passion andstrong desires is that no matter what I can never seem to walk away. It's like if I were to walk away from what I really want for myself I'd be walking away from who I am. I feel like I am in the middle of moving forward but at least I am moving forward and not backward. 
I remember what I heard Kirk Franklin once say... A delayed prayer isn't a denined prayer ( not sure if that was his exact words, close enough) . As I wait for things that are out of my control come together. I'll go back to Dallas for a few weeks and get my ducks in a row and continue to move forward. In all that is going on I feel like my faith is being tested and this time I will pass this test with confidence.
If you're standing in the middle of moving forward know that everything, I mean everything will work out. Please don't worry about what will happen, when it will happen or even how it will happen.  Just know it will happen. Believe it, Know it, and Own it

Til Next Time
Simply Lola

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Emotional Rollercoaster

It’s been a long time coming. I haven’t written in weeks and my reason for that is because of the lack of time in a day, a little bit of writers block but mostly because I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster. It’s been one thing after another with my move to New York. At first I was extremely excited with moving to New York, and then my future job told me they have over budgeted for my position and that I may not be needed for it at all. Clearly that took me from an extreme high to an ultimate low. To receive the news of being fired before ever even getting started was just tragic. Although it wasn’t confirmed I knew I had to figure out a plan B…what was I going to do?!?! I had given my notice to both of my jobs and my position had been filled. I wasn’t sure if I should stay in Atlanta and just try to make the best out of my disappointing situation or just go home. I even thought about all the people I told and how I would be judge as the girl that just can’t seem to get her shit together. Hence my exhausting emotional rollercoaster ride.

The day I received the news that my dreams of living in the Big Apple maybe postponed was also my last day working my retail job at Lenox Mall. My co-workers and I had created a very strong and tight bond. We always support and encourage each other in whatever it is that we’re doing. It was the day I would be saying goodbye to very close friends and the weight of not knowing where I would be a very heavy load I'd carry on my heart. Tears were streaming down my face because of heart breaking news from my future job and for the fact that I would no longer be working with people who were now my friends. My manager and good Maggie painted me the beautiful portrait that said “life is good” clearly that just made me even more emotion. The day was filled with flooding tears. When we closed the store for the night we figure we’d feed my unstable emotions with long island ice teas and shots, shots of any and everything I could through back (lol). The drinking was a good distraction from all that I was encountering at once, but when the bar did last call I was quickly reminded of my confusion and the urgency for me to make a wise decision (Oh dear God, what was I going to do).

When I got home I sat in my car, closed my eyes and took a deep breath. As soon as I opened my eyes I got a text from the Titan. My thoughts were I really can’t take anymore disappointments and what could he possibly want. Still under the influence of way too much alcohol I couldn’t figure out how to text him back, so I called. He answered and before he could even say hello I just started crying like an out of control woman saying “I think I was just fired from a job that I hadn’t even started”. Shockingly he stayed on the phone and just let cry. The crazy thing is I never had been this vulnerable with him. Until that night I would have never ever considered him to be a person that I could lean on. OMG!!! he’s not the jackass that broke my heart and colored me crazy, he’s actually a F.R.I.E.N.D…he’s a friend or was one that night, Now wait! Just because the Titan is my friend (which is very weird to say) doesn’t mean anything, Calvin Johnson of the Detroit Lions still has my heart. He is still the man for me, lol... now back to what I was saying. I had no idea what I was going to do. Of course the Titan suggested Dallas would be my best beat. I wasn’t against coming back home but the Big Apple has been a dream of mine since college. Ironically through my tears and confusion I never once uttered the words “why me” or “where are you God” I simply said to him that there are two things I wanted more than anything for myself this year, well three and that is God’s will, unshakeable faith and complete confidence in who I am and what I do and if I have to endure situations like this one to get what I want I'm okay with it. I even said that no where I am I know that I am a fucking  (lets just blame that statement of truth on the alcohol). Clearly he was taken back by my words but continued to listen in silence. I cried and talked about just me and what I was going through for almost 2 hours and when we hung up I said my prayers. I told God that it doesn’t matter where I am I know that I’ll be better than okay.And I jumped off my crazy emotional rollercoaster ride.

The  next morning I finally got a grip on my thoughts and wrote down what I wanted to do and what would make sense for me to do. There is no question that I am not a person that plays it safe. I live by my college motto “find a way or make a way”. In this case I am going to have to find a way and make way at the same damn time. So therefore my decision is clear to me…I am moving to New York. I have a place to stay and I’ve been sending out my resume so I’ll get a job sooner or later (praying for sooner rather than later, lol). I didn’t come this far too quit and I’m confident that not only will I be okay but I will be very successful in the Big Apple. I don’t have all the answers to a hundred questions that I am so sure many of my friends and family may have for me. All I know is I have one life to live and I want to make sure I have few regrets as possible.

Emotional rollercoasters put us in a position to breakdown and build up. It’s within the breakdown I learn how to build myself up. I can see me finally becoming the person I have always wanted to me, confident with unshakable faith. Alex and Eric my “team from Atlanta” have gotten transfers from their jobs and will be in New York in June. When they get there I’ll be ready to continue our journey of me being a Great Success.

Til Next Time
Simply Lola

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Doing Whatever It Takes/ The Shit Aint No Joke

At my age many people throw in the towel, get a boring job and just give up on their childhood dreams. For women we usually meet a guy we can kinda can live with, marry him have a few kids and blame our new family we help create on why we no longer are pursuing our passion. Men however wait out a little longer (maybe like mid to late 30’s) to basically do the same thing women do and use the same excuse. But not ME! I am still yet holding on and keeping the faith. And why am I exactly still holding on and keeping the faith in my dreams? Well I’m glad you asked, because I have not found a guy I can kinda live with and get married to and purposely have children to blame for taking my heart’s desire away from me (lol). And trust me, Lord knows that I’ve been looking. There are two things in life that I really want to happen in my life, well more like three and they are to become a great success as an entertainer, to be a great mother to my children and to marry Calvin Johnson the wide reciever for the Detroit Lions, or I’ll settle for a great man of God, ( hey, don’t judge me, lol). Because I have yet to meet my husband I have not been able to start a family and for that reason I am moving to New York. I’ve always wanted to live in New York and so this is why I’ve accept a job there that will give me the freedom to pursue my happiness.

I have a friend who recently told me she was envious of my freedom and wish she had the courage to just go do what she loved to do. As she was talking to me I thought to myself she has got to be crazy to think that going after what I loved is something to be envious of. There is not a day that goes by that I wish I would have settled for stability and not sacrificed all I have on my big dreams. The only reason I haven’t given up and called it quits is because I’ve come too far to turn around. However ,I must be honest this shit aint no joke. I am homeless and carless (in the terms of not having a home or car in my name), and I pray faithfully at the counter of any and every store that my debit is accepted and not declined. This is the life of a person that is pursuing their dreams. Deciding to give what I believe in all I’ve got for however long it takes is a BEAST! I totally understand why people don’t pursue their happiness, because it’s a life of expecting the unexpected and hoping for the best or better yet to just survive in the end. I work a part time job making maybe $300 to live off of for two weeks and that’s if my hours aren’t cut and I am able to pick up some extra shift (which isn’t very often). I can’t tell you the last time I purchased something so little as new underwear (granted I hand wash my panties and bra so that they will last a long time.) Because I have made this decision to continue to press forward I take full responsibility for it and don’t use my parents as an ATM. So I ask you as you sit in your comfortable cubical doing whatever it is you’re doing making more than enough to enjoy the finer things in life like the 30% off sale at Victoria Secret or being able to pay $20 to get into a party without lying about having to sing for the guest of honor or name dropping at the door just to get in( yes, I’m guilty of all the above), do you really what to trade places with me, lol? Not to mention all the once and a life time experiences I’ve missed out on just because I didn’t have the money, like my best friend Crystals 30th birthday party in Vegas, or my nieces birthday and her dance competitions. I promise every Sunday I am in tears because I want my mommy(lol). Living a life in pursuit of happiness cost a great deal and rejection is a very hard pill to swallow. To hear someone say who I am and what I have to offer just isn’t good enough over and over again is painful and heartbreaking. I am constantly building and rebuilding myself up. Granted my struggle/ journey has really built my character but I can’t cash character at the bank (lol). It has even brought me closer to God so with that being said I’m okay with my decision.

When I look at the lives of great people like Tyler Perry, Oprah Whinfey and even my dad I understand that in order to see what God has for me I must take the risk of losing all that I have. Making great sacrifices to get where I want to be is all about strengthening my faith and for that I will press on. With that being said, to my friend who is considering risking it all in pursuit of your happiness please know it’s hard work. Most days the hard work consists of you just keeping your faith. However if you’ve reconsidered risking it all, don’t beat yourself up because I’ll be honest there are many days I wish I would have just stayed put in Dallas. Either way God’s love is still the same in whatever you decide.

Til Next Time
Simply Lola

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Miracles and Blessing

Hey guys, for my blog this week I decided to send some love to a very special group of people in my life. They are my church family, Greater Cornerstone B.C. Every member and even former members of my fathers church have shown me so much love from the very beginning of my career. No matter what I do or where I go GCBC has my back. I wish I could come home for Easter but since I can't I have posted a little treat for you guys.

Please forgive mw I look a little crazy on the video,I love you all and I miss you all very very very much

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Introducing Lola Simone

When I was a little girl my dad would take my sister and I to Blockbuster after school on Fridays to rent movies. It never failed I always rented the same video from the store. I always got Janet Jackson’s tape of music videos. In fact I rented it so much that the store manager one day just gave me the tape to have. On the weekends my sister and I could stay up as long as we wanted, I would wait til everyone was asleep and I would pop my Janet Jackson tape in the recorder and just watch her for hours. I can’t remember how old I was but I remember my cousin Stacy asking me what I wanted to be when I grow up. I said with confidence, I want to be Janet Jackson. She said oh so you want to be a singer, I said yes but I want to be Janet Jackson the singer (lol). For a while I really worked hard attempting to be Janet Jackson’s clone. I even won a Halloween costume contest dressed as her, but still I was just a look alike (lol). Somewhere between then and now I discovered the person I can be is Lola (lol). And as Lola I’m not that bad of a singer/ pop artist.

The journey of music has taken me through several directions of genres. I started out recording Neo Soul and then R&;B and now Pop. I never had an interest or a desire to sing gospel…no reason in particular it just wasn’t my thing( I can feel the Judges judge me as the anxiously start to type their self righteous opinions about my preference, lol). I only sang Neo Soul and R&;B because I thought that’s what black singers were suppose to sing. But I fell in love with music watching a pop artist, Janet Jackson. Singing pop music has been a comfortable and easy transition. I love singing Pop and selling sex (lol)…only through song, I’m a lady I’m not that easy…well maybe I am… give a glasses of wine and who knows what I’ll do (wink) ,lol (relax it’s a joke). Anyway developing into a Pop artist has been really great. I have been accepted by an audience that allows me to do what I love and not be judged. I’ve become more confident with myself as woman and as an artist. I’m really enjoying the change and with change come reinventions.

I have been known as Lola Natisa the Neo Soul and even the R&B artist. Now I’m a sexy pop artist and its time to spice my name a little. My first name Lola is taken from fiery grandmother Lola Simmons. My mom told me a long time ago she named me after my grandmother because my grandmother is confident, strong and a fighter. Now I have been through a lot, lord knows I have and I’d like to think I take after my granny in a lot of ways. So there for to pay homage to her I have change my stage name to Lola Simone. I’m using Simone because its sexier than Simmons (what do you think). With that being said I am going to be making changes to my face book, twitter and my other social media accounts. I prayed about my big move. I really want to move to the big apple, but I asked God to let his will be done. Where ever I end up I want to have a core foundation already developed as an artist. I have a big show on the 24th of April so by then I should have my music, photos, website another things done.

In life I have found that I am going to be trying a variety of things before I find what works for me. I am going to go on a hundred dates or more(I'm hoping less) before I date the one guy I’ll marry. And I’m ok with that. My friend/ manager Alex told while getting ready for a show that one habit I have to break is settling. If it doesn’t work try something else, but don’t settle until it’s what you want. I’m changing my name and possibly changing where I live, if these things don’t work I’ll do change again. Life is too short to punish myself with less than the best or what’s best for me.
Til Next Time Simply Lola, or shall I say Simly Lola Simone 

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

To Move or Not To Move, That Is The Question

I have been in Atlanta now for a little over a year and one thing is for sure it is time to get the hell up out of my friends house and go. For those who don’t know but the reason I moved to Atlanta was because my friend asked if I could come down and help her get her life in order . She just had her second child and she didn’t have much family and wanted to know if I would help her for a few months. Well a few months has turned into a year and I have done all I can do, and its time I get my freedom back and focus on me. Now I don’t regret moving to Atlanta I just wished I would have moved under better circumstances. Lesson learned, when someone asked you for a favor think long, I mean very long about the sacrifices you’ll be making on their behalf. With that being said I will be moving out on March 31st, 2012 and I have no idea where I’m going, but at this point I don’t care if I am sleeping outside next to a homeless crack head who smells like week old trash… (oh please dear Jesus make a way for me to not have to sleep outside, amen). So here are my options, stay in Atlanta and pursue my dream, move to New York and start all over but pursue my dream, or move back home to Dallas and call it quits.

I want to stay in Atlanta because finally after all these years of labor and pain in pursuing my life long dream of becoming a fucking star it’s finally happening. I have a team of people that are passionate about helping me in making my vision a reality. Plus I finally have a band. I must say I’ve found my nitch with music here and slowly but surely I have a growing fan base. I’m really good at singing pop music and the gay men of Atlanta are loving me more than any straight man has ever loved me and heck I’ve shared coloring moment with them(lol). I feel like if I leave now when things a really starting to pick up I will have to start all over again no matter if I go home or to New York. I know I look young but I am a middle aged woman that needs some stability. The only thing about Atlanta is I’m not a Mega Star yet and I work a part job because I’ve been helping my friend get her life together and now I need a full time job or another part time job. Now one thing about me is that I will work til the bitter core, I will bust my butt on a job but I have yet to here back from any of the jobs I have applied for.

Then there is New York. I got an offer from a friend who works at brokerage firm to work as an administrative assistant. I’d have a place to stay and the hours on the job would give me the flexibility to audition and record and do all I need to do to pursue my entertainment career. Anyone who knows me knows how much I absolutely love the NYC. I use to say all the time that I would give anything to live in New York in a match box apartment living the good life and shopping at luxury stores I really can’t afford (lol). The pro in this situation is that I have a job that pays better than the job I have now, I would be close to my good friend Monica and we’d have a great time like the old times in ATL , and its New York!!! The cons are that the team I’m working with here in Atlanta is so awesome and my band is here. I don’t want to leave them we’ve come so far n these few months. … but it’s New York, my dream location, a place I have always wanted to live…decisions , decisions, decisions.

Finally Dallas, I love my home town. I miss my family and friends so much, and singing on Sunday with my mom is something I would give anything to do every Sunday. I miss my church family they are so faithful in just supporting everything I do, and my. My niece is my number one fan and she’s my Minnie me I feel like I’m missing her grow up. But the only thing is that I struggle so hard musically at home. It’s like the bands and producer , hell even some promoter just don’t want to give me a chance and that really frustrates me. I feel like I have to beg for a chance to prove my talent and that really sucks. But I love my family and friends so much I don’t really care about the nay sayers (lol).Plus I can always work for my favorite friend and boss Daylon. the pay is shitty but the perks are great(lol) So what do I do, I have no clue.

Some people look at me as this adventurous, free spirit who wont stop til I get to the top. And then there are others may look at me as an unstable woman who is wondering about the world believing in an unrealistic reality. As for me, I believe I’m just tryin to find my way. I know that at the end of the day I have to decide exactly what to do for myself but I’m so confused. Before I decide on anything I want to here from you my friend… tell me what do you think I should do. Should I stay in Atlanta, move to New York, or just go home.
Simply Lola

Friday, February 24, 2012

Church Shopping

I was talking to my grandmother a few weeks ago and she was telling me that she had been pray that the Lord would relieve her of using cus words. She said,she doesn't say a whole lot of cus words but she has noticed that she says shit, damn, and hell an awful lot and for the new year she don’t want say those words so much. Then she blamed my grandfather for leaving the television at night while they sleep say that those words are said on the t.v. and they get in her mind (lol). I attempted to control my laughter at our whole conversation as much as I could. So she wouldn’t think I was laughing at her I told her that I had been praying too, about knowing what God’s will is for my life. She was impressed and even proud of me. She asked me if I had been going to church? My response was when I’m off from work. Then she insisted that I find me a good church home so God could start speaking to me. I figure she might be right and so for the past few weeks I have been visiting church searching for a good fit for me.

The first church I attended was a church I use to go to in college Elizabeth. Back in college everyone went to this church because the pastor was single and very attractive. He’s no longer single and now everyone goes to there because New Birth (Eddie Longs church) is creepy…especially after they crowd him king. The choir was cool, the men pretty descent , and the sermon was ok. The pastor uses a whole lot of big words so I kinda felt like needed a dictionary to follow the sermon. It did however make sense why most of the congregation used Ipad and not the NIV bible…quicker search without getting lost (lol).

The next church I attend was St. Paul Episcopal Church. I volunteer once a week at a food pantry that is ran by St. Paul. Most of the volunteers are older retired women and after a few weeks of hanging out with them they invited me to join them for service. What I liked about the church service was that it was short, sweet and to the point. It’s a very traditional church so we did a whole lot of praying and sang a whole lot of hymns. I didn’t mind the hymns at first but then after about that third hymn they all started to sound the same. The choir was good but not what I was looking for. I need the church I go to ,to have a choir that’s loud and rockin…their choir was a little stiff for my taste. There were no cuties in the building just a lot of older men half sleep and politicians begging for votes (lol). They do however serve wine for the Lord Supper but they don’t serve enough of it for me to consider making it my church home.

The last church I visited was a church my hair stylist insisted I go to. He’s gay and his boy friend was leading his first and he wanted me to come and support. Shannon and his boyfriend are always supporting me when I have a show and so I figure it’s important that I return the favor and support him at church. Boulevard is the name of the church and its nondenominational and it’s also so very gay. I know… it was very shocking to me as well but who am I to judge. The men were very cute but clearly they were in no shape or form attracted to me. The choir was off the chain, I mean they were awesome. However I was very distracted by the battling of who could shout the longest and do the holy dance the best. The sermon was good but a little long and somewhat random. I’m glad I went as support for my hair stylist boyfriend but this clearly is not the church I can call home.

All the churches I attended so far have been great in one way or another I am still in search for a church to call home. I get home sick on Sundays because I miss my church back home so much. I find looking for a new church home is similar to looking for a man. You got out with a guy to see if you like him. He's cute but his breath is terrible, or he's not that cute but he's funny. Either way nither one of these guys are not what you're looking for and therefor it's on to the next. I know that there is no such thing as a perfect church just like there is no such thing as a perfect man. But I want to have an unexplainable connection and feel a level comfort with the church that I will call home, and feel the same way about the man I will marry.

To my friend who is shopping for something, you may not be able to describe it but you will know it when you see it or experience it. I encourage too keep looking and don’t give up hope. It may not be perfect it but it will be perfect for you.

Til Next Time
Simply Lola

Tuesday, February 7, 2012


I’ve been singing at this male gay club in Atlanta for a few months now and I must say it’s a lot of fun. It never fails right before I get up to sing my friend/ stylist Alex whispers in my ear “Lola you’re a fucking star. In some strange way after he says that to me I feel like I’m tapping into my Lady Gaga without being Lady Gaga (lol) I think it’s because gay men worship Lady Gaga and for about two hours every Tuesday they sing praises unto me (Lady Lola). With my hair all done up, my makeup looking flawless while wearing six inch heels walking on stage I absolutely feel like I’m becoming a F&%king Star (lol). It’s funny growing up I always thought Super Stars were these unattainable people on TV or listen to on the radio. Who would have thought a little girl from Dallas now all grown up singing popular dance tunes to a club filled with men with no desire to color with me would be a star on Tuesday nights at Blake’s(lol).

The definition of a super star varies based who you ask. Back in the day a super star had talent. They could either, sing, dance , act or do all three. Super Stars were athletes and great inventors but now a day’s not so much. All it takes is a simple fresh look and if you know the right people to sleep with, the right people you can get you a reality show and bam you’re a star. Talent no longer defines one as a star. In as much as reality women are hated they are f%^king stars and what makes them stars is confidence. Each and every woman that appears on these shows are so sure of themselves. They have convinced us that their stories are stories we need to hear and see once a week. Wither I like or not I have to respect their formula. Granted I am not interested in becoming a real house wife television star, or a basketball wife but more a super star singer married to wide receiver Calvin Johnson (which would make me a football wife, but that show no longer airs, so I’m safe, lol) I must take the attitude of confidence. Every time I stand up to sing no matter how large the crowd maybe I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am who the world is anxious to listen to. See I have to be as good as I know that I am because when I display the greatness of my gift, one can only desire to want to hear more of me. The same goes for me being a single woman. It’s important to walk with confidence and flash my sexy smile as friendly gesture of hello to a handsome fellow. I’ve learned confidence isn’t rude arrogance or the character of bitter resentment but it’s a character of being comfortable with who I am no matter who likes it.

To my friend, not everyone can act sing, dance, score touchdowns, o slam dunk a basketball. Not everyone on cure cancer or create a new way of living through technology but that doesn’t mean that they aren”t talented. We all have something we’re good at and we all have a passion for something. The key is not to underestimate yourself or what you’re good at… become a F&#king Star. You have one life live it with confidence and be great. Tap into the one and only you and just a Star!!!
Til Next Time
Simply Lola

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Simply Lola/ God’s Will

When the New Year hits I always decide to make changes in my life and head in a new direction. I tell myself I am going put down the wine and stop casual coloring with meaningless men and just wait on the good Lord to send me my husband.Then Valentine's Day comes around, I get sad and find comfort in a cheap bottle of Wal Mart wine. Which lands me right into the arms of a perfect stranger, only to find myself fornicating (lol). I'm just kidding I'm a lady, I just sext (lol). Here lately i find that my great depression has gotten old and its time for a change. This year I have decided to pursue God's Will for my life. I know, shocking but true...see even Jesus loves a sinner (lol)

I brought in the New Year this year with one of my best friends Crystal and we kicked it hard. Thankfully I didn’t wake up with a hangover and managed to make it church on time ( don’t judge me, lol). I even got to sing with my mommy (that was my highlight). I spent most of my time at home playing Michael Jackson with my nephew while my sister worked on getting her school ready for its grand opening. I know!!! I can’t believe my little sister is opening up her very own school I am sooooo proud of her. When I look at her life I am just so amazed by how far she’s come. I feel like I wasn’t home long enough but even in my short visit I got to catch up with a few of my Dallas base friends and hang out a little with the Titan…oh relax we didn’t make out or color (lol). As good as I was looking I am totally sure the thought crossed his mind but Jesus is his homeboy now so it didn’t go down (lol). I have no comment about if coloring crossed my mind but I will say I kept my legs closed and my hands to myself (lol). I had so much fun in Dallas that I cried driving to the airport. On my flight back to Atlanta I did some reflecting on the time I spent with my friends and family. It seemed as though everyone was doing well and very happy doing the various things they are doing. I felt like everyone I got to see and hangout with had finally found peace and was in God’s will. I can’t help but to be happy and excited for my friends and family but I had me question if I’m in God’s Will and if I’m not what is God’s Will for me and how will I know if I am in his will.

When I hung out with the Titan he told me what was going on in his life and I did the same. He talked about how much he has been through this year and how all his trials and hard times have drawn him very close to God. It’s interesting how a rich man’s struggle is nothing like a broke man’s struggle…trust me I know cause I can relate to the broke mans struggle (lol) but I digress. He told me that he never thought he’d play professional football or even be as successful as he is within his career. Going from not even considering entering the draft to being drafted 7th round, becoming a backup for his position, to starting his position, and becoming a pro bowler several times is like a wow factor. At end of our talk he told me that in all he has accomplished the only thing he wants to be remembered for is being in God’s Will and of course a good father, friend and so forth. Listening to him speak with such passion and conviction really hit home for me. It was amazing to see the positive changes in his life. At the end of our conversation he asked me to write down five things that I wanted and release to God once I have them. Considering it was very awkward taking spiritual advise from the man I once loved and still do love I did just what he asked. It took me much longer to come up with five thing but I did and made my list. My list consisted of the following,
1. To be in God’s Will for my life
2. To be in god’s Will for my life
3. To be in God’s Will for my life
4. To Be In God’s Will for my life
5. To be with someone I really like (more like my husband) on valentine’s day (what, I’ve never had a valentine…the titan and I usually hated each other around that time,lol)

It’s so funny, last year my friend Crystal asked what if singing isn’t what I’m supposed to do with my life, my answer was I would totally die. I’m a singer. It’s what I do well and what I love to do. It doesn’t matter if I sing in front of 10 people or 10 million people I love to share my gift of song. But now I can honestly say that if that is not God’s will for me then I’m okay with that. I also want to be married to Calvin Johnson (the way he catches a ball for a touchdown pass is so sexy to me, lol.) but if that isn’t God’s will for me then I will learn to live without mega-tron. I can honestly say to you today that I’m really not sure what God’s will if for my life but I don’t regret the sacrifices I’ve made in pursuit of my passion. Therefore if I will give up all that I’ve invested and worked hard for to be in God’s Will, whatever that may be. Until I know just what his will is for me I will continue to sing and gig with my band in Atlanta, perform at the male gay bar and keep hope alive about marring Mega- Tron (lol)

To my friend who is just as lost as I am regarding their purpose for life, I encourage you to just surrender and let us both see what happens.

Til Next Time
Simply Lola