Finding My Way To Love

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

To Move or Not To Move, That Is The Question


I have been in Atlanta now for a little over a year and one thing is for sure it is time to get the hell up out of my friends house and go. For those who don’t know but the reason I moved to Atlanta was because my friend asked if I could come down and help her get her life in order . She just had her second child and she didn’t have much family and wanted to know if I would help her for a few months. Well a few months has turned into a year and I have done all I can do, and its time I get my freedom back and focus on me. Now I don’t regret moving to Atlanta I just wished I would have moved under better circumstances. Lesson learned, when someone asked you for a favor think long, I mean very long about the sacrifices you’ll be making on their behalf. With that being said I will be moving out on March 31st, 2012 and I have no idea where I’m going, but at this point I don’t care if I am sleeping outside next to a homeless crack head who smells like week old trash… (oh please dear Jesus make a way for me to not have to sleep outside, amen). So here are my options, stay in Atlanta and pursue my dream, move to New York and start all over but pursue my dream, or move back home to Dallas and call it quits.

I want to stay in Atlanta because finally after all these years of labor and pain in pursuing my life long dream of becoming a fucking star it’s finally happening. I have a team of people that are passionate about helping me in making my vision a reality. Plus I finally have a band. I must say I’ve found my nitch with music here and slowly but surely I have a growing fan base. I’m really good at singing pop music and the gay men of Atlanta are loving me more than any straight man has ever loved me and heck I’ve shared coloring moment with them(lol). I feel like if I leave now when things a really starting to pick up I will have to start all over again no matter if I go home or to New York. I know I look young but I am a middle aged woman that needs some stability. The only thing about Atlanta is I’m not a Mega Star yet and I work a part job because I’ve been helping my friend get her life together and now I need a full time job or another part time job. Now one thing about me is that I will work til the bitter core, I will bust my butt on a job but I have yet to here back from any of the jobs I have applied for.

Then there is New York. I got an offer from a friend who works at brokerage firm to work as an administrative assistant. I’d have a place to stay and the hours on the job would give me the flexibility to audition and record and do all I need to do to pursue my entertainment career. Anyone who knows me knows how much I absolutely love the NYC. I use to say all the time that I would give anything to live in New York in a match box apartment living the good life and shopping at luxury stores I really can’t afford (lol). The pro in this situation is that I have a job that pays better than the job I have now, I would be close to my good friend Monica and we’d have a great time like the old times in ATL , and its New York!!! The cons are that the team I’m working with here in Atlanta is so awesome and my band is here. I don’t want to leave them we’ve come so far n these few months. … but it’s New York, my dream location, a place I have always wanted to live…decisions , decisions, decisions.

Finally Dallas, I love my home town. I miss my family and friends so much, and singing on Sunday with my mom is something I would give anything to do every Sunday. I miss my church family they are so faithful in just supporting everything I do, and my. My niece is my number one fan and she’s my Minnie me I feel like I’m missing her grow up. But the only thing is that I struggle so hard musically at home. It’s like the bands and producer , hell even some promoter just don’t want to give me a chance and that really frustrates me. I feel like I have to beg for a chance to prove my talent and that really sucks. But I love my family and friends so much I don’t really care about the nay sayers (lol).Plus I can always work for my favorite friend and boss Daylon. the pay is shitty but the perks are great(lol) So what do I do, I have no clue.

Some people look at me as this adventurous, free spirit who wont stop til I get to the top. And then there are others may look at me as an unstable woman who is wondering about the world believing in an unrealistic reality. As for me, I believe I’m just tryin to find my way. I know that at the end of the day I have to decide exactly what to do for myself but I’m so confused. Before I decide on anything I want to here from you my friend… tell me what do you think I should do. Should I stay in Atlanta, move to New York, or just go home.
Simply Lola

2 comments:

Ms. Jazzy said...

I KNOW YOU SHOULDC ONTINUE TO FULL FILL YOUR DREAMS.... SOUNDS LIKE GOD ALREADY GOT YOU HOOKED UP ON YOUR MOVE.... NEW YORK BABY!! BECAUSE GOD HAS ALREADY GOT IT SET UP FOR YOU WITH A JOB & A PLACE TO STAY OF YOUR OWN...NOT TO MENTION PLACING YOU WHERE YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO BE!!! I KNOW CHANGE IS HARD... AND ALOT OF TIMES GOD WANT US TO STEP OUT OUR COMFORT ZONE AND TRUST HIM COMPLETELY... REMEMBER SOME TIMES THE HARDEST DECISION MAKING IS THE BEST... I KNOW YOU SAID YOU GOT YOUR BAND AND YOUR GAY FANS... ALWAYS REMEMBER TO PRAY TRUSTING GOD FOR WHAT YOU ARE REQUESTING... #LETTINGGOANDLETTINGGOD KEEP ME POSTED PLEASE ;-)

~ G ~ said...

I'm not sure about moving to New York, but I definitely say DO NOT move back home! You'll be doing that for all the wrong reasons, and you know what... you can always visit!

I say pray on it and allow God to guide you!