Finding My Way To Love

Friday, February 24, 2012

Church Shopping

I was talking to my grandmother a few weeks ago and she was telling me that she had been pray that the Lord would relieve her of using cus words. She said,she doesn't say a whole lot of cus words but she has noticed that she says shit, damn, and hell an awful lot and for the new year she don’t want say those words so much. Then she blamed my grandfather for leaving the television at night while they sleep say that those words are said on the t.v. and they get in her mind (lol). I attempted to control my laughter at our whole conversation as much as I could. So she wouldn’t think I was laughing at her I told her that I had been praying too, about knowing what God’s will is for my life. She was impressed and even proud of me. She asked me if I had been going to church? My response was when I’m off from work. Then she insisted that I find me a good church home so God could start speaking to me. I figure she might be right and so for the past few weeks I have been visiting church searching for a good fit for me.

The first church I attended was a church I use to go to in college Elizabeth. Back in college everyone went to this church because the pastor was single and very attractive. He’s no longer single and now everyone goes to there because New Birth (Eddie Longs church) is creepy…especially after they crowd him king. The choir was cool, the men pretty descent , and the sermon was ok. The pastor uses a whole lot of big words so I kinda felt like needed a dictionary to follow the sermon. It did however make sense why most of the congregation used Ipad and not the NIV bible…quicker search without getting lost (lol).

The next church I attend was St. Paul Episcopal Church. I volunteer once a week at a food pantry that is ran by St. Paul. Most of the volunteers are older retired women and after a few weeks of hanging out with them they invited me to join them for service. What I liked about the church service was that it was short, sweet and to the point. It’s a very traditional church so we did a whole lot of praying and sang a whole lot of hymns. I didn’t mind the hymns at first but then after about that third hymn they all started to sound the same. The choir was good but not what I was looking for. I need the church I go to ,to have a choir that’s loud and rockin…their choir was a little stiff for my taste. There were no cuties in the building just a lot of older men half sleep and politicians begging for votes (lol). They do however serve wine for the Lord Supper but they don’t serve enough of it for me to consider making it my church home.

The last church I visited was a church my hair stylist insisted I go to. He’s gay and his boy friend was leading his first and he wanted me to come and support. Shannon and his boyfriend are always supporting me when I have a show and so I figure it’s important that I return the favor and support him at church. Boulevard is the name of the church and its nondenominational and it’s also so very gay. I know… it was very shocking to me as well but who am I to judge. The men were very cute but clearly they were in no shape or form attracted to me. The choir was off the chain, I mean they were awesome. However I was very distracted by the battling of who could shout the longest and do the holy dance the best. The sermon was good but a little long and somewhat random. I’m glad I went as support for my hair stylist boyfriend but this clearly is not the church I can call home.

All the churches I attended so far have been great in one way or another I am still in search for a church to call home. I get home sick on Sundays because I miss my church back home so much. I find looking for a new church home is similar to looking for a man. You got out with a guy to see if you like him. He's cute but his breath is terrible, or he's not that cute but he's funny. Either way nither one of these guys are not what you're looking for and therefor it's on to the next. I know that there is no such thing as a perfect church just like there is no such thing as a perfect man. But I want to have an unexplainable connection and feel a level comfort with the church that I will call home, and feel the same way about the man I will marry.

To my friend who is shopping for something, you may not be able to describe it but you will know it when you see it or experience it. I encourage too keep looking and don’t give up hope. It may not be perfect it but it will be perfect for you.

Til Next Time
Simply Lola

Tuesday, February 7, 2012


I’ve been singing at this male gay club in Atlanta for a few months now and I must say it’s a lot of fun. It never fails right before I get up to sing my friend/ stylist Alex whispers in my ear “Lola you’re a fucking star. In some strange way after he says that to me I feel like I’m tapping into my Lady Gaga without being Lady Gaga (lol) I think it’s because gay men worship Lady Gaga and for about two hours every Tuesday they sing praises unto me (Lady Lola). With my hair all done up, my makeup looking flawless while wearing six inch heels walking on stage I absolutely feel like I’m becoming a F&%king Star (lol). It’s funny growing up I always thought Super Stars were these unattainable people on TV or listen to on the radio. Who would have thought a little girl from Dallas now all grown up singing popular dance tunes to a club filled with men with no desire to color with me would be a star on Tuesday nights at Blake’s(lol).

The definition of a super star varies based who you ask. Back in the day a super star had talent. They could either, sing, dance , act or do all three. Super Stars were athletes and great inventors but now a day’s not so much. All it takes is a simple fresh look and if you know the right people to sleep with, the right people you can get you a reality show and bam you’re a star. Talent no longer defines one as a star. In as much as reality women are hated they are f%^king stars and what makes them stars is confidence. Each and every woman that appears on these shows are so sure of themselves. They have convinced us that their stories are stories we need to hear and see once a week. Wither I like or not I have to respect their formula. Granted I am not interested in becoming a real house wife television star, or a basketball wife but more a super star singer married to wide receiver Calvin Johnson (which would make me a football wife, but that show no longer airs, so I’m safe, lol) I must take the attitude of confidence. Every time I stand up to sing no matter how large the crowd maybe I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am who the world is anxious to listen to. See I have to be as good as I know that I am because when I display the greatness of my gift, one can only desire to want to hear more of me. The same goes for me being a single woman. It’s important to walk with confidence and flash my sexy smile as friendly gesture of hello to a handsome fellow. I’ve learned confidence isn’t rude arrogance or the character of bitter resentment but it’s a character of being comfortable with who I am no matter who likes it.

To my friend, not everyone can act sing, dance, score touchdowns, o slam dunk a basketball. Not everyone on cure cancer or create a new way of living through technology but that doesn’t mean that they aren”t talented. We all have something we’re good at and we all have a passion for something. The key is not to underestimate yourself or what you’re good at… become a F&#king Star. You have one life live it with confidence and be great. Tap into the one and only you and just a Star!!!
Til Next Time
Simply Lola