Finding My Way To Love

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Why I'm Not Married

 I read an article written by a writer named Tracy McMillan, I'm assuming she has no relation to Terry McMillan. The article was titled "Why You're Not Married". As a single woman I was drawn to the title and was amused by her comments. It clearly was one of those tell it like it is, keeping it real kind of view points which I totally respect. I found  her thoughts very funny but I was a little pissed off because she had been married three times while I'm a 33 year old woman who hasn't so much had a boyfriend.  Its no question that she knows how to get married but its obvious she has no idea how to stay married. Either way she seems to be doing so much better than Me, but I digress.

Her article didn't mention anything different than anyone whose written an article about who we are as single women and what we need to change to NOT be a single woman. Me and every other single woman have head it all before ,especially if you're a woman of color. Rappers of this day and time remind us every chance they get in every song they make on how we're bitches and hoes (she called us sluts) , gold diggers (she called us shallow), selfish, liars and don't know our worth. My feelings towards these accusations were not of  anger, or bitterness but more like annoyed. I mean seriously I smile way to much to be a bitch, I'm sure I've been a bitch in a frustrating moment but I have too much of a bubbly personality to just be a  flat out BITCH, which contradicts the Book "Why Men Like Bitchs" and leaves women so confused. I mean  really, To Be a Bitch or Not To Be A Bitch that is the Question,lol.

Gold digger, seriously!?! I've worked three jobs at one time, walked miles in the rain with a big ass hole in the bottom of my shoe to serve pizza to people I graduated college with, lol. And don't get me started on being a slut. Sluts have sex, lots and lots of sex.  I have had more action with my silver bullet than I have with an actual penis ,lol. I'm not speaking for the masses but I am speaking for myself. The day I am become a gold digging whore who frequently colors with multiple wealthy painters will be the day of pure enjoyment. To actually fornicate with a man that doesn't mind me running up his credit card on Christian Luboutins and Fendi purses sounds like a dream come true, lol. The only reason women like me judge groupies and video vixons is because we're pissed off that we weren't smart enough to not work as hard has them, that's all, lol. If I could sell my morals and values on E-bay surely I would but I can't cause I don't want to disappoint my sweet, sweet mother,lol who I secretly resent for making it a point to instill them in me, lol . Clearly if I  were a gold digger I would have at least had a decent pair of shoes to walk to work and serve pizza ,lol.

As for being selfish , well of course I am ...HELL its just Me. I give to those who deserve what I have to offer. I've worked hard for my shit, lol. If I give my all in the beginning then I'll be considered a push over or weak. Which here again leaves me confused because don't men love a good chase?!? Aren't they supposed to work for my time and attention, lol.

A liar, who hasn't lied. I'm mean seriously I'm not going to present myself as the girl with serious issues. Who wants to marry her. Its like  a used car,  the salesman is not going to tell you about the tragic accident it was in and how it has a major oil leak.  All he's going to do is say is it run likes its brand new, but clearly its used! Just like that used car with all those mechanical issues you wont find out my flaws until after the Honeymoon or maybe after our first child, lol. Its kinda hard to leave when kids are involved ,lol.  I don't want to marry the guy with issues either  I prefer to wait til the ink drys on the marriage licence and then call  Iyanla Vanzant later, be on the her show "Fix My Life" and be done. There's nothing sexy about coloring with a guy whose just messed up because at the end of a good orgasm I'll be sleeping with one eye open, fearing for my life, lol. As a single woman whose tired of happy hour with her girls every Friday and popping wine bottles by herself on Saturday I'm gonna lie for a little male attention, lol . Of course if a guy says he's not looking for anything serious I'm gonna seriously lie and say me either. Because if I say I am and we should get married tomorrow I'll be back in a committed relationship with my bullet. And frankly I'm just tired of buying batteries,lol. I love "Me Time" but like with any other single woman every now and again ME, MYSELF, and I need a break from each other, lol.

At 33 I know my worth. I've worked hard at being worthy. I'm not Married because I am tired of selling myself to men who are just not buying it from me. Which at this point is clearly absolutely okay with me TODAY, gotta take this single decision 1 day at a time, lol.  Who I am is who I am, nothing more or less. I'm a fun, funny, feisty flirty woman who happens to be a sister to my sister, a daughter to my parents and a true friend to my friends. I'm sexy and beautiful. Trust me I am, lol.  I'm loyal  and full of life. I'm talented in more ways than one. I'm in love with Calvin Johnson/ Megatron and if that makes me shallow so BE IT, lol. I'm a woman who is always trying to lose weight even when I don't need to. I 'm a Sunday school teacher to a group of teenagers who can't wait to graduate from high school and never go to another Sunday school class again. I'm a control freak, call me crazy but I just have to know whats going on at all times, and yes I blame my mother for this flaw. I wear weave because its just easier to manage, I drink crown and coke, and on pay day Hennessy and coke,lol. I am woman whose love language is quality time.Lastly, I'm an amazing woman and  a really good person with a few bad habits. I'm single because I'm Me.

 My attempts to emulate other people have been an epic fail. I have one life and as long as it fun, full of life with great times  and I can be the fine ass Aunt that picks up my niece and nephews from school I'll accept my Singlism (I made that word up,lol). To my friend who doesn't know why she's single well if its just because you're you, then be okay with being you. Remember we gotta accept this Single way of life one day at time. Just make it the best damn life you could ever haa and
you'll me just fine my friend.

Til Next Time
Simply Lola




1 comment:

angela parker said...

Im a widow and sometimes I feel that its a blessing and a curse in this dating thing. What I do know is that no matter how good of a woman you are it does not matter unless that man is ready to see it. If hes not ready it does no good.you can be the best thing for him but if hes not ready he wont recognize you for who you are.That is why as women we have to keep ourselves together while we are in waiting our spirits and our physical body and minds.