Finding My Way To Love

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Simply The Truth Is....

The Truth IsThere are several reasons why people lie. One reason is because the truth hurts so we wont have to feel the pain of honestly we lie. We lie to get what we want, we lie to avoid having to do what has been asked of us. I once lied to sing. Yep I told a very large amount of people that I was dying and that it would be a dream for me to sing at their event before I kicked the can. In my defense I had emailed these people several times but was unable to get a response , so I figured death would do the trick…and well it didn’t (hey it was my last hope). I even lied to a guy because I didn’t want to color with him. I told him that I was a virgin and I was waiting for Jesus to send me my husband. I wanted to get rid of the guy. I know you’re asking why I didn’t just tell him the truth. Well why don’t any of us tell the truth?

As a single singer there are two questions that I absolutely hate. The first one is: So why are you single? In my twenties very insecure about my singleness I would lie and say: Oh well you know I don’t want a serious relationship, I’m just not ready for that, or well I am really working on me becoming one with the Lord (to God be the glory). I can’t take it anymore, the truth is I have no earthy idea why I am single, I don’t know why the hell I am alone. If I knew then maybe just maybe I wouldn’t be single. Now that is the honest to God truth. The second question I hate being asked: So Lola when is your next show, have you tried singing at this location or that location. I know people mean well and are just trying to support me and I’m appreciative of that. I don’t want to seem like an ungrateful bitch so I respond with: Well you know right now I am singing at a lot of private events, and weddings. Here’s the truth, I don’t know when my next show will be just know I am busting my butt. As much as I want my phone to be ringing off the hook for gig after gig after gig it’s not. No one is blowing me up much asking me to perform. It’s so bad right now I feel like the homeless man on the corner holding up a sign saying “Will Work For Food” but only mine reads “Will Work To Sing”(deep sigh…tragic just tragic). Thankfully there at least twenty people that show up every Sunday at 7:30am service that I can sing to.

Here is the truth about me: I hate the Titan, and I hate that I hate him but I do I absolutely hate him. I don’t want to be single anymore. Nor do I want to be the self righteous independent black woman that Neyo wrote a song about ( he’s such a liar). I am a woman, a woman that wants to be taken care of, loved and adored. Let’s face it we (women) all want to be taken care of, we just can’t say it because then we’ll appear to be gold digging whores (lol).Despite what a man says they want to be the care taker, in as much, both of these statements are true, however no one wants to be taken advantage of. I honestly just want to sing, make great music, and perform. This is want I want my life to be consumed with: a lot of coloring with a fine ass man that loves and adores me, and singing…lots and lots of singing, song writing, and performing, dropping one album after another and, having number one hits one after the other. Lastly, the truth is no I do not think God wants something else for me, nor do I think that all that I have now is all I will ever get. Therefore I’ve stopped with justifiable answers to make me feel better. This telling the truth is making me feel great.

When I think about the truth I realize that it really doesn’t hurt it actually feels so good. No more lying. The only thing that has been hurting me are the lies, the lies I’ve told myself to save face is various situations. The truth, well it feels damn good.
To my friend reading this, the only advice I have for you is please stop lying to yourself. Want what you want and know where you are in life …and f the rest. I promise when you’re honest with yourself you’ll feel so much better.

Till Next Time
Simply Lola

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