Thursday, November 4, 2010
My Dating Status: Not Even to First Base
I have recently have opened myself up to the world of optimistic dating. In other words I’m trying to not judge a book by its cover or bank account. I thought I would let you all in on just how I’ve been doing.
Bachelor #1: Million Dollar Boy
I have a part time job at the mall and I met a very cute rookie who uses text messaging as his first form of communication. All the words are abbreviated and most of the sentences are incomplete. I’ll be the first to admit to anyone I am not the best speller but this brotha is out of control. The gold-digging whore in me is determine to figure out a way to make things work with the Million Dollar Rookie, but the self respecting lady side of me is well aware that the only thing this 12 year boy will be able to complete is a few color sessions and who’s to say our colors wont clash. The Self Respecting Lady trumpets over the Gold Digging Whore (lol). We haven’t been on a date but I’m pretty sure the only thing we’ll have in common is his losing team and that’s not even worth talking about. I think it’s time for me to just say good bye now before Gold Digging Whore starts to make her case to Self Respecting Lady (lol).
Bachelor #2: He’s Hiding Something
I met him at the Drake after party this past Sunday. He’s just a few years younger than me. He has a decent job but again his perfect form of communication is through text messaging as well. He’s short but cute (from what I can remember). So here’s the red flag, this dude only texts me late at night or early in the morning. I thinking he’s got a live-in or he’s married…and how do I know this. Well I’m thirty and have dated enough to know when someone is hiding something…the game aint changed just the stupid men that continue to play it with the same rules (he should do better). Never the less I don’t have time to stick around to find out just what it is he very well maybe hiding.
Bachelor #3: Cry Baby
We met a few weeks ago at the new Addison Restaurant “Buttons”. All I can say is he soooooo emotional. He’ll call and if I don’t call back in the time frame he’s expecting, he wines about it. OMG, I am a single woman with no children and my nipples are not for grown titty babies. I mean get a life and chill out. He got mad at me because he asked me how I was doing. I replied I’m good and then he starts crying about why I didn’t ask him how he was doing. Apparently you’re not doing well if you’re crying on the phone. I’ve always wanted a child of my own, and not someone else’s (tragic just tragic). Its clear this man wasn’t loved as a child or as an adult.
So three guys and no one has even made it to first base, let alone stepped out of the dugout. As much as I want to be pissed off and just throw my hands up saying the hell with this, I won’t give up. Plus,I can't take these guys stragedy for dating personal, that would be stupid. They only do what works for them. I know all men are not twelve year old, million dollar sneaky cry babies (lol).I believe there’s still a few good ones left somewhere around here. I have learned how not to ignore warning signs or red flags and keep it real with myself at all times. So I’ve decided to move forward and not wear a frown.However I found it refreshing that all three men thought me working two jobs was cool, and no one had a problem with the fact that I don't have a car (whew, what a relief) Now God bring on the next group of lovely painters, and hurry my vibrator broke (lol) Amen
Til Next Time