Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Men Are Like Buses
Men are like buses; if you miss one just wait to catch another. I have no idea who started this saying .It has got to be the dumbest statement known to all single women. Why in the world would anyone want to catch a bus? I hate catching the bus. The seats are hard, and just this morning the bus I caught, caught on fire (tragic just tragic). Nothing about a bus or catching the bus sounds like a dream come true or my idea of a dream lover. There all kinds of people on the bus. First there’s Paul and Peter (bible character look a likes) sitting at the back with their long white beards freaking the normal passengers out. Then you got the single mother of six kids who find a way to occupy every seat on the bus. Her and her kids are either sitting in empty seats or jumping from seat to seat. All I want to do is yell “Lady birth control, please use it, your kids are killing us”. Lastly, there’s always a homeless man that smells funny wearing an out dated jersey from an NFL team that no longer exist carrying bags of empty soda cans and talks to himself aloud distracting everyone from their own thoughts. . Plus they‘re huge and unattractive vehicles that seem to have a delay when you need them to be on time. To compare a bus to a man would be saying he’s always late, unattractive with a creepy past, bastard children and crazy thoughts that he has no problem telling you on a first date. Now that I think about it maybe some men are like buses. I still don’t think if I miss one I should get on the next one. I mean if I’m going to wait for something big and long to pick me up I prefer it to be a black long stretch limo. There’s limited space for unnecessary baggage, and the smell of leather far out weights the smell of the homeless man.
Therefore I have come up with a new theory of my own for my single women friends. “If You Miss A Bus Jump In A Limo”. The seats are much smoother, there’s alcohol served and if you’re lucky the driver will have a paint brush that resembles the long, dark stiffness of the car. Plus coloring in a limo is so much sexier than screwing on a bus (lol).
To my friend that feels like she keeps missing the bus, please stop waiting on the next one to come along. You deserve your own personal driver and comfortable seats
Til Next Time