Finding My Way To Love

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Facing My Fears

There's a man in the bible who did everything right only to find himself with nothing (its the story of Job). He had gotten to a point where he couldn't understand why doing everything right landing him with nothing. Then it hits him that his greatest fear was to be without all that he had.. His greatest fear had come up on him.

I moved back to Atlanta to help a friend that recently had her second child and is having some serious health issues. So basically I'm my friend's nanny. I never thought in a million years that I would move back to Atlanta or be a nanny. I agreed to help Mariama (my friend) because I thought it would be a good way to give my big dream another chance. Now I'm afraid that this move may not have been a good idea. I was perfectly content in Dallas working two jobs and singing at my father's early morning church service every Sunday. I may not have been getting a whole lot of gigs but I always knew on Sunday(every Sunday) I had somewhere to sing, even if there were only ten people to hear me, those faithful few will do (lol). Oh sure I didn't have a serious boyfriend but I had started to catch the eye of some future prospects. There even was a band that wanted me to be their lead singer. I left all of that for what!?!?....good question. I'm here in the ATL and I'm scared out of my mind. I feel like I'm starting all over again with my life. I'm thirty!!!! Shouldn't I be at a place where I am stable and comfortable, having the only thing to change is my own children diapers, and the days of the week. Instead it's me doing the changing and I'm afraid it may not be for the better. So what do I do now, move back home or take this new change one day at a time and hope for the best.

I've decided to go with taking my new change one day at a time and hope for the best. My dreams may not ever come true and my defensive tackle may not be my true love (lol). One thing is for sure that I've went after my dream without holding back and just because I may not get my defensive tackle doesn't mean I have to stop loving the game of football. I'm brave enough to say I'm afraid and I every day I have faithfully face my fears. I've learned to enjoy my journey be proud of myself for doing more than most people wont ever do, and that's to have enough faith to endure change.

Some people are afraid of heights, and others are afraid of bugs. Married women are afraid that their husbands wont die before them, allowing them not to remarry the younger much cuter lawn boy and travel Europe on the dead husband insurance money(lol). I'm a single woman who happens to sing and I'm facing my fears of being alone having no where to sing head on. I figure if I'm living my greatest fear well then theirs nothing to be afraid of any more.

To my friend that is scared out of his or her mind, just face your fears. The worse thing about not getting what you want is you”ll learn to live without it.

Till Next Time
Simply Lola

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