Finding My Way To Love

Friday, October 18, 2013

Surface Talk- It's THE.... OMG HE CALLED

Surface talk is the conversations we have in passing with strangers or people we barely know. Its the Good Morning!, how are you? talk we have while in the break room waiting to get coffee at work. Its the  polite but not personal way of sharing the same space with people we're not comfortable with. Surface talk is also the talk we have when we randomly call someone unsure of what to say or how to say what needs to be said underneath the surface. Men do this more than women, or at least that's what I think.  I don't know how men do it, but they know exactly the time and day to just get underneath your freakin skin,lol by talking about absolutely nothing, totally annoying,lol.

Yesterday while sitting at my desk watching the paint dry on the wall (it was a boring day at work) OMG he called (I haven't thought of a good nick name for him yet) but any way OMG!!! he called. He called and said, Hi. At first I didn't want to answer the phone but watching paint dry was no longer exciting so I surrendered to the sounds of my phone ringing. After the polite hellos were exchanged he started to talk about his adjustment to Oakland. He found a nice place to stay and was liking his work and blah, blah, blah. I'm not sure how the conversation of him coming home came about but he told me that even though it was his week off he wasn't going to be able to come home... I thought to myself, um okay? I asked him about his injury and apparently I had it wrong. I thought  he hurt his knee but I guess it was his quid, and of course he corrected me. I didn't even know he had the week off. I felt like he was disappointed that I hadn't been keeping up with him, which made me feel a little bad. But  HE missed my birthday so I say we're even. All and all nothing that needed to be said was said. Everything was lite and very surface.I mean I told him I bought a car and my hair is now blond,big deal.I feel like it was a very surface conversation mainly because I didn't know what to say and neither did he (or maybe he did, hell i don't know). So why am I still pondering over a conversation that went absolutely no where?!?!

Here's the thing about having surface talk with a guy I really have no closure with. It creates chaos in my mind. Especial if I haven't found any interest in any other guys. The sound of his voice puts me in a place of possibility and hope.The mire fact that he thought of me whither he was bored or really missed me it still feels good and I want to hold on the good feeling as long as possible.Its as if I want to create a conversation of him saying I miss you Lola, and I am ready!Ready to be with you, I am ready to act right and just love you Lola. And to prove it I bought a ticket for you come see me and we discuss our future (lol, I am so dramatic,lol ). Eventually the good feeling and fantasy fades quickly because the reality is that nothing was really said that needed to say.

There are all these reason why men call when its over, or you feel like its over. Some say because they want to make sure we're still an option. Others say its because they're bored, or they're trying to see where your head is at so they can get on your good side. To be honest I'm sure its all of the above. So what are we as women to do! I'm glad you asked...I have no earthly idea.The only thing I can think of is, Cuss em out and tell them to kick rocks and stop wasting your perious time,lol. But that's not a good idea because you will be labeled as the CRAZY LADY,lol. However, I will say not matter what the conversation is about stay true to your desire and stick to your guns. Don't forget why its over and don't surrender to a random call. My friend Monica said it best, people be it man or woman know how to get what they want. If there is more to come for whats on the surface then it will but if not LET IT GO! And believe if its not him then it will be someone else that will get underneath the surface and make it work with you.

Till Next Time
Simply Lola

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