Finding My Way To Love

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Always Prepared

Always Prepared
This past weekend I had another audition for a play. While waiting to audition I sat next to two women who had come to support their friend who was auditioning for the same play. As one of the young ladies got up to go to the restroom she tripped over the other friend’s purse. Frustrated by her fall she asked her friend why she had such a large bag. The friend responded with confidence “Girl this is my coochie don’t fail me now bag” OMG! I immediately stop going over my lines and memorizing my song and look at the young lady puzzled, thinking “did she just say what I think she said” knowing just what I was thinking she nodded with agreement while eating corn starch from a large container. I couldn’t help myself I had to ask what was in her coochie don’t fail me now bag. She gladly responded and said “Girl I got my good wig, a pair of fresh panties, some smell good, an extra pair of eye lashes ( blinking and saying, cause I like to look a certain way), condoms(she don’t do kids), wipe cream, and three lip glosses because they were three for a dollar at the beauty supply. As creative as I am I promise I am not in any way making this up. It’s clear this lady was ghetto fabulous at its best…lol. Her actions and attitude showed that no matter what, she didn’t care that she was around perfect strangers, or the type of environment she was in, she was consistent in being herself. Not only that she was a woman who knew what she wanted and prepared herself to receive it. At the end of the day I had to respect her honesty and admire her preparation.

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. In all of my twenty nine years of living the only true Valentine I have ever really had was my father freshman year of college (he sent me flowers because I had just broke up with my high school sweet heart). Every year I wonder when or if I will ever be someone’s valentine, when will someone love me with all their heart (you know all the girlie stuff). Oh what I would do for a dozen roses…lol. So this year I made decision that I will meet my husband on Valentine’s Day. I don’t know where I will be or even who it will be, all I know is that February 14, 2010 I will meet my husband. I wrote down a detailed list of my Mr. Right in my journal. I am so sure of this that I talk about my husband with excitement, and confidence all the time. My friends Lauren and Kim laugh but are very supportive. My granny says you have not because you ask not (I think it’s in the bible I just haven’t ran across that scripture yet…lol) I asked God to meet my request I decided to take the approach the young lady did with her bag . Since the beginning of the year I have been preparing myself for the day I meet my husband. I’ve gotten rid of my unnecessary baggage and made a list of things to do (improve)
1. Prayer ( Lord now you know what I like and don’t like...Amen)
2. Kanye West Workout (One and two get them sit ups right in…lol)
3. Accepting myself for who I am, and Confidence in who I am (a have spent a lot of time trying prove myself to men, seeking for approval only to be rejected. I’m not perfect and I have made mistakes yet and still I am worth all that I desire to have).
4. Forgiveness of myself (I am quick to blame myself and beat myself up over relationships that didn’t work out, well no more..Lola I forgive you! Can’t change the past, moving forward)
5. Domestics (each week since Christmas I have cooked a meal, and each week I am getting better every time. Of course I wash and clean that was never a problem)

Here is my theory ,I believe we have free will for a reason. We are made in God's image (so why limit ourselves) whatever we want whatever we desire we can have it, but we have to receive direction and guidance. We have to be prepared for what we want. Just like the lady at the audition. Right or wrong, good or bad she identified what she wanted and prepared herself to receive it. This week if there is something that your heart desires, develop an attitude that you all ready have it. Prepare for it, activate your faith and live it. Don’t worry about the “what if”, just know when it’s time you’re prepared *wink*
Til Next Week

P.S. Wrecked But Not Totaled Show Dates Are:
June 25-27, tickets are $25 general admissions, and $35 VIP