Finding My Way To Love

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Winter Secrets

Winter Secrets

I am the oldest out my sister and me. When people find out that my sister is a mother of two they automatically ask “well Lola why aren’t you having children” and I respond because I use condoms…moving right along. I have a smart mouth and a feisty personality. A man once told me I was a bold little something. At times, I am aggressive and direct. My style is interesting (I think miss matching is very much so matching) My theory is, if my attitude matches the look then I can work the outfit. Finally yet importantly, I am open. My mother says I keep no secrets about myself and she is right.

What are secrets? To me they are mysteries that are hidden for various reasons. I once had a secret lover. He was this attractive, bold head, a body to die for, handsome thang…lol (whew ..flash The most interesting part of our relationship was that no one knew we knew each other. No one would ever put us together. I found it very fun to be out in the same place, get a glance at him noticing me and only me in the mist of hundreds of people. No words uttered it public only in private. When the cat was out the bag the relationship was no longer a secret and the mystery was no long there. The relationship was over (tragdey). I worked so hard to keep us a secret. I only wanted him to see me Lola the singer, with confidence, sexy, funny, and daring side. The other side was not as attractive. He once asked me why didn’t I ever open up to him and give him all of me, what was I hiding. The truth was I didn’t want him to reject me because of my flaws, I was too scared he wouldn’t like the less attractive side.

I started writing this blog thinking I was going just tell my experience of becoming a singer and “making it “. I only thought that I was going to tell stories of great parties and famous people. Although these things sound good and are very interesting there is so much more to my journey and to who I am. What makes me good at what I do is that I no longer hide who I am. The mistakes I’ve made create unique songs, and a broken heart gives great sound when I am performing. My emotions are no different from anyone else. I have this saying: It is my responsibility as an artist to paint musical pictures of all emotions so people won’t forget how to feel what they feel. I want people to read my words and for a few minutes know that we share the same secrets.

Secrets are hidden so no one will see who we are, or know what mistakes we have made. The less people know the less they can talk. Well the more secrets we hide the heavier our soles get. We begin to spend more time hiding and less time growing. This leaves us unable to enjoy life and learn love. I don’t have secrets anymore because I don’t want to hide anything good or bad. Its my good that molds my bad and my bad becomes good, and my good becomes GREAT!

Just like season change so do our lives. Trees look and appear lifeless in the winter. In spring their leave have color and their beauty is exposed. It’s the same with us. Our winters of worry, fear, doubt, rejecting, weakness, and pain will eventually give us color that will shine in confidence, strength, power, and beauty. This week allow your winter secrets to spring into beautiful stories

Til Next Week


1 comment:

correywilson said...

that right there is real, people believe that by just TELLIN the truth they are bein honest. true honesty is about bein who you are all day everyday, whether loved or hated