Monday, June 14, 2010
Waiting For "I Do"
Simply Lola: Waiting For “ I Do”
A few weeks ago two of my good friends called with the same life changing news. Both said yes to the men that asked for their hand in marriage. One of my friends talked with so much excitement she kept gasping for air. I finally asked her to stop, breath and then talk. In the midst of her excitement, she paused and said: “I’m sorry Lola is my story making you feel bad? I responded and said: Girl no, I mean I have the freedom to color with whomever I want using very color in my *box* while you are stuck with the same ole paintbrush (lol). We both laughed and she continued her story. If the truth be told I know she’ll miss no longer having “options or moments” anymore. A Moment is good girl code for when her morals and values are just not giving her the results she wants. She throws them in a closet and sets out for a liberating experience of her choice of painter, leaving all her wholesome worries behind for a bad girl good time (lol). Good girls only talk bad about bad girls because in secret we want to be them. We only hate groupies and video vixens because we can’t become them. We were hugged and loved as children, we were told to be strong black women, only to graduate from college now working a job we hate, wishing we were Amber Rose driving a luxury car, wearing designer clothes we can’t pronounce and just kicking it as an occupation…sorry tangent. FYI: The single girl that disagrees with this theory is the groupie we hate.
When I was a little girl I wanted to be Janet Jackson and to marry Michael Jackson (stranger things have happened). In high school, I still wanted to be Janet Jackson but decided my high school sweet heart was a better choice for marriage. He went to OU and I went to CAU. Somewhere between the alphabet and freshman, orientation he discovered if all else fails, he could always go back to black and ventured out to the world of White, Asian, and Indian women. I discovered that Georgia Tech had a very nice looking defensive line and decided feel the pressure of being sacked by a noise guard. Senior year of college was the year of major investments. I invested in a real –estate investor giving all that I had and still not having enough to close the deal in Holy Matrimony. After my stock failed with him I bought into a young ambitious business owner, a former high school basketball superstar, and the one and only…the Titan(oh memories). I loved each an every one of them as if I had finally found the one, while they loved other things besides me. Frustrated with my failed marital bliss outcome I wondered what it was about me that just was not loveable. I chose them, why didn’t they choose me? I’m giving the best of what I have, so why is love so difficult. What is there not to love about my bright smile, funny personality, and fabulous style? Boy, I tell ya men! All this fabulousity, and still no “I Do” (tragic just tragic). It’s funny I’ve read every book and followed all the rules to life and love, only to find there are no rules to life or love…it just happens
I am sure there is single girl that can relate to my history of disappointments and is asking the same question “What do I do until “I do” comes along”. While I find that being depressed about it just makes the wait longer and stalking your past loves will get you a restraining order, I took an idea from O magazine, and created a love list. It narrows the search. I find it best to continue to enjoy life doing what I love acting, singing and writing. Eventually the stars will a line themselves and I will be more than enough for my love list and I will say “I DO” to Mr. Right for me.
So to my single friend standing at 30’s door or living in 30’s house with no “I Do” in sight, my suggestions to you is:
• Create a love list; at least you will have an idea of who you will want to say “I Do” too
• Continue to do what you love to do
• Be the happy bridesmaid, and feel honored as the Maid of Honor
• Enjoy “moments” of coloring with your choice of painter, (remember the bigger the brush the longer the stock, no one likes to watch the paint dry...lol) Your married friends will hate you for all the fun you’re having
• Lastly, know when “ I Do” does come along you’ll no longer wish for the life of Amber Rose but thankful that love actually comes to those how wait.
Now there will be times that you’ll need a tub of cookies and cream ice cream, and tears will come every now and again, but know I’m yet holding on too
Til Next Time