Finding My Way To Love

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Taking The Good With The Bad

I moved to Atlanta eight months ago for the third time to work as a nanny for a good friend of mine. On Saturday I took her three year old son to the barber shop to get a haircut. Since I was going to the YMCA to work out after he finish getting his hair cut I decided to bring his ten month old sister along. While waiting in the barber shop for the next available barber I sat down next to an older gentleman. I was rocking the ten month old in my arms and trying to keep the three year old from tiring up the place. As the old man watched me attempt to manage two babies he leaned over and said to me; (it’s such a shame that girls your age are having babies out of wed lock and not getting a good education). At first I was confused. Then I turned to him and said, sir I’m thirty years old with a college education and these are not my children. Puzzled by my response he just sat back in his seat in silence (I guess black really don’t crack, lol). Being thirty and not looking thirty is a blessing and a curse. The blessing is I can never leave home without my driver’s license and the curse is that apparently I look like a young teenage high school dropout/ mother of bastard children. What’s sad is this man decided who I was based on not even knowing anything about me. I notice the bible in his lap and thought about the scripture that states; he who is without sin let him cast the first stone. It amazes me how many of us who are in Christ forget to be Christians (tragic just tragic).

Last week I wrote a blog that really pissed a few people off. These people are anonymous ( I have no idea who to thank for keeping it real with me, lol). A few people left comments of their opinions about me and what I need to do with my life. It was clear from the comments that these people are not people that know me and that more people read my blog than I thought. Surprised by the repsonse I thought I’d take the time out this week just to let you know who I am and why I write my blog and respond to a few comments.

My name is Lola Wilson. I am a singer from Dallas Texas and a college graduate from Clark Atlanta University. I write my blog because as crazy as it may sound I’m not the only woman that feels the honest feelings that I feel. I want people to read my blog and just laugh, or at least be relieved that their life isn’t mine. And if it just so happen that who ever is reading my clever words is going through all that I’m going through at least they’re not alone ( picture it as me giving my testimony while riding through the storm) I’m a Christian and not a virgin (Thank God I’m not going to hell). I am crazy enough to sacrifice all that I have for the one dream I believe in. I’m loving, loyal and often confused about the road less traveled. I am confident in who I am sometimes and other times I’m concerned if I am becoming who I want to be….that me in a nut shell… now on to Q&A

I was told by a reader to get back to God, my response is there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t walk with him. Another one said I was trying too hard, well thank God that hard work pays off. Someone wrote ( assuming an angry black man) I have nothing to offer why would any one want to marry me in my state. Well I had a good job, a car, and my own place and I was still single… Damn if I do and Damn if I don’t (lol). Then he or she (I’m guessing a he) said I tell too much of my business… well stop reading my blog...period. My point is, this is me (ALL OF ME)I've accepted me for who I am. The words that I write are my truth, what I experience and what I feel. My intentions are not to hurt, belittle, disrepect or offend anyone. I thought about apologizing but I'm not sorry for anything i've written. I even wanted to take some of the comments down but I'm no coward. I accpet those who love me and I accept those who don't.I can't change people's opinons about me I can only be me. I've had many people criticize me in Jesus name and thats ok because in life I have to take the good with the bad. My granny, mother and even my sister think I'm a great person while others think I am going straight to hell on a scholarship (lol)and its better too have three to love me than none at all. My ending statement "To my friend" its a general statemet it's not directed at a particular person ( duh).

To my friend (if i have one,lol) please know I write for fun, and well if its offensive to you then you should not follow me on twitter or be my friend on facebook.

Til Next Time
Simply Lola


Anonymous said...

You are clearly missing the point. so sad. and whoever this friend is probably doesn't even exist if he or she does, he/she probably doesn't even like you. I know I wouldn't. Misery loves company and people love to include others in their own mess when they are unhappy. You are talking about yourself. Trying too hard to be someone you are not. Everyone sees it and the more you fight positive change the more you make yourself look hopeless. "To my friend who" is just a cover up. Sweetheart you've been exposed just admit it. You wouldn't see people trying to help you if God showed you himself. The comments seemed to have been coming from older people who have been where you are and who know where you are going. And if an older man is giving advice, YOU LISTEN. Everyone knows that. You are headed in a downward spiral. Listen before its too late.

Anonymous said...

Dear Lola,
I am not a family member or a close friend, but I am a faithful reader of your blogs. First of all let me say I respect your transparency. It takes a lot of courage to share your journey with those of us who care to listen. Your story is common. Many young women like yourself are still finding their way. Truth be told, there are some old folks that haven't found their way yet either. I look forward to the day your blog title reads something like, "I Have Arrived". Your supporters are correct. We have no right to judge you, but your recent blog title truly says it all, you have to take the good with the bad. Although some people are clearly trying to tear u apart & hurt you w/ their comments I believe others have better intentions. Some of us actually wish the best for u & offer our opinions as help. Although u may not agree with everything people are saying there may be something to learn from it all. If I were in your shoes I'd read between the attacks and insults to see if there's anything useful or constructive in what people are saying. Some comments may require u to get out a magnifying glass to find the good in it, but perhaps u can find something. Remember, what others mean for evil God can use for good. Don't miss the lesson that ur supposed to learn by getting too caught up in what u perceive as negativity (i know its hard girl). If ur gonna keep sharing at least @ the end of the day you'll know ur growing from the experience.

Still Anonymous Cause Like Bobby Brown said, It's My Prerogative! :)

Lola said...

Ignorance is bliss and when assumptions are made you can clearly make an ass out of yourself. To the first comment my response is: I CLEARLY didn't miss his point. My argument to this is: what if I were a young mother with no education, the tragedy is that I would be what he called "a shame" but what about the father of these so called children. It's just as sad for a young girl to have to bare the burden of her mistakes alone when she didn't make them alone. Another thing, older doesn't make anyone wiser it only makes them older. The blog is written in first person, meaning that is my point of view so I’m not sure how that’s hiding from me? Lastly, "To my friend" is general statement not a direct statement. In as much as I would like to make assumptions I wont because that would only make me look like a foolish ass. I respect your opinion regarding your take on my character but please know the best way to encourage positive change is not through negative emotions.

Too the last two comment:
I thank you for your support. What I have learned from all of this foolishness is that words hurt worse than sticks and stones could ever hurt. I accept responsibility for publicly exposing my life experiences , there will be some that love me and other that hate me. I am confident that in most of the statements regarding my blogs and life these people meant well but had very poor delivery. I also think some of these states maybe from men that I turned down for a date (lol, what can I say rejection can be a bitter taste for some,lol) . One thing I’ve learned in finding my way is if you’re not honest with God he can’t honestly help you.
Everyone enjoy your day and “To my friend “ … Thank You