Monday, August 29, 2011
To Be Famous
Jazmine Sullivan has a song on her most recent album titled “Famous”. The song is about her being a little girl with one dream to become famous. As she grows older she hopes that her one true passion/desire would fade from her thoughts, but instead of it fading away it becomes an anxious nightmare she must fulfill. I listen to this song almost every day, thinking about how when I was a little girl singing at my father’s church all I wanted to be was a famous singer. There's a line that sticks out most, when she says "No one wants to be invisible, everyone wants to be seen.I want to matter to the one, to girl watching me on TV and I want her to want to be me and I want to be her dream". My niece is who I do this for. Here I am standing at the front door of 31 still wanting to become what I dreamt about as a little girl.
There’s a place in Atlanta called Kat’s Café. On Thursday nights Kat’s holds a jam session for musicians and singers kinda like a open mic but it’s only open to those with talent (lol). A few weeks ago I went to Kat’s and participated in the jam session. I sang “Say Yes” by Floetry and received an encore. I was surprised at the audience response simply because usually hardly anyone ever receives an encore. On this particular night a few musicians from Anthony Hamilton’s band where there listening to me rock the house and invited me to the Jill Scott concert the next night. Jill Scott is one of my absolute favorite singers so I didn’t hesitate to accept their invite. Anthony Hamilton, Mint Condition DJ Jazzy Jeff and Duggy Fresh were Jill’s opening acts for the concert. I had the best seats in the house back stage (ya dig). I was like a little kid in a candy store over whelmed by all the talent walking past me rushing to get on stage. I have to admit I was extremely nervous at first. I had so much I wanted to ask but very little time and thinking about it now the concert was not the time or place for my 101 questions. To calm my nerves I had a glass of wine which turned into a few glasses of wine, needless to say I was very relaxed by the 3rd act. In fact I was so relax that I told DJ Jazzy Jeff that I was good friends with his friend Daylon. Confused about who Daylon ( my friend) was and how he was friends with him I explained that they’re only friends in his mind (lol). He laughed and then asked me had I ever thought about acting. I told him yes but I’m a singer at heart. When it was finally time for Jill Scott’s performance I quickly took my seat and watched her sing every favorite song of mine. I was surprised she never left the stage. She was absolutely amazing. She looked so beautiful and sang with so much heart and passion that it felt like time stood still just for her. As I watched her perform I felt like the little girl I once was, wanting to be a famous singer.
After the show I hung out with Anthony Hamilton’s band members and jammed to some of their original music they produced. They were impressed with my voice as well as my brilliant lyrics (lol). On my way home that night I couldn’t help but to become frustrated with my life’s journey. I get frustrated because I'm good, no really good at what I do and I just want my hard work to pay off. The more I thought about my one true passion the more anxious I became. My peaceful dream as a child was now my living nightmare. All I could think about was the one thing I’ve always desire to become and wondered if it will ever happen. The next morning I woke up and called my grandmother. I told her all about my night and how I just wished for my dream of being a famous singer would come to past. After listening to my frustration she said “Tisa there are plenty folks out there that can really sang and some are better than you, but you can’t grow weary”. She said, now the bible say ask and it shall be given to ya (I’m sure she was paraphrasing, lol) So we are gonna ask God to bless you with a good singing job that will let make enough money take care of yo folks and leave it alone ( clearly my dream isn’t just about me, lol). She told me, now bow ya head and close ya eyes and lets call on the Good Lord. And so I did as she insisted and let the Lord use her(lol). At end of the prayer she told it was our job to just stay faithful and thank God for answering oura prayer ( that’s how she talks, it’s our but she says oura, lol).
There are people who are fishing for their purpose and then there are those who are working on their purpose. I know I was born to sing and even though its get frustrating I have to keep the faith. Many will say let it go and just move on but what if Noah stop building the ark because he never saw rain. I realize sometimes faith isn’t about seeing the light at the end of the tunnel but just knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel while walking a dark path.
To my friend that just wants to give up because their exhausted from working hard. The song simply says after you’ve done all you can….just stand. You (who ever you are) and I have to remain faithful even when we grow frustrated. I’ll be honest I can’t see the light at the end of my tunnel right now but I’m walking my faith and not by sight.
Til Next Time