Finding My Way To Love

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

My Love List

A few years back I read an article in O Magazine about woman who had been married three times and still was in search of true love. As she ran into the arms of a wise older women weeping, the women told her make a love list and number it to 100. The lady did just that and five years later she married her true love. A few women have used this very same practice and were successful. However non of the women are women of color (black). I've grown up believing that black men are insecure and black men that are successful reject black women. Its as if I have been train to think because I am a black woman I will not be a woman that is lovable and I should just deal with the insecurities of unloving, unsuccessful black men. Well no more. I made my love list and numbered it up to 100. I believe that God knows my heart and hears my prayers despite my race. Therefore I am up for the challenge. It took me two days to complete my list, but here it is, and I wont make any apologizes for what I want.

My Love List

1. A Man of God
2. Loyal
3. Loving
4. Honest
5. Humble
6. Faithful
7. Patient w/me
8. Forgiving
9. Fun PErsonality
10. Always a gentleman
11. Empatheic
12. Romantic
13. Creative
14. Strong
15. Courageous
16. Masucline
17. Positive/ Even Keel
18. Motivating
19. Brave
20. Peaceful
21. Funny
22. Confident
23. Well Respected
24. Respectful
25. Financially Wise
26. Wealthy / Smart Invester
27. Loves to travel
28. No Children
29. Sexy
30. Understanding
31. Slow to Anger
32. Agrees to disagree
33. Quite/ but not shy
34. Observent
35. Deep Sexy Voice
36. Very Tall
37. Physically Fit
38. Great Cook
39. Team Player
40. Athletic
41. Nice Skin
42. Out going
43. Amazing Passionate Kisser
44. Affectionate
45. Wears nice cologne
46. Good relationship with his mom
47. Not a momma’s boy
48. Family Man
49. Have a good work /life balance
50. Never married
51. Ready for a serious relationship
52. Attends church with me
53. Believes in my dreams
54. Communicates well with others
55. Good Listener
56. Successful
57. Adventurous
58. Drug Free
59. Not an Alcoholic/ light drinker
60. Sports Fan
61. Gives to others
62. Organize
63. Intelligent / Smart
64. Beautiful Eyes/ Captivating
65. All working limbs/ in good health
66. Mature
67. Good sense of humor
68. Not easily offended
69. Never forgets my birthday
70. Loves me for me
71. Laughs at my jokes/ even th bad ones
72. Homeowner
73. Not Judgmental
74. Strong/Good Work Ethic
75. Very calm
76. Great Credit
77. Gives me compliments
78. Likes to cuddle
79. Affectionate
80. Clean
81. Neat
82. Holds me while I sleep
83. Large Paint Brush
84. Colors well/ never stay inside the lines
85. Emotionally Stable
86. Beautiful Smile
87. Responsible
88. Gives me orgazums
89. African American
90. Stands up for himself
91. Gets along with my family
92. Relible/ someone i can count on
93. Sends me a dozen roses just because
94. Enjoys hanging out with me
95. Enjoys Football
96. Passionate
97. Focus
98. Determined
99. Loves all of me
100.He's my #1 fan


Anonymous said...

Well let me know when Jesus come back so i can go to church!!!lol because that's not man that's Jesus him self that you looking for.

Anonymous said...

I hope you are OK with being single for the rest of your life. No such Man(or person for that matter) exists. Girl, you need to get your head right!

Also, on that same episode of Oprah, she stated that you have to have standards but having a list like this was setting yourself up to lose.

Anonymous said...

I hate that all you black women think that you can take relationship advice from the big O, Oprah! You have to remember that Oprah is in a different tax bracket. That means that the rules of love change and i'm pretty sure that her love list is a lot different from Then also how can you take relationship advice from a 51 year old single lady that don't even have kids!!! She rich but that's about it. Oprah is the old lady that stay down the street with all the cats who try to tell everybody else how to live their life. Remember that lady?

Don't let the money fool you Oprah still a old ass biter black women that cant find a man!!!

Anonymous said...

Hey Lola!

I read this a thought how fun. I know God knows our hearts, but we have yo speak those things to be into existence. I laughed at your, not because it was funny, but because we (women)do want a lot of those things. Now for the ones eho commented, it is a list of qualities she desires in a man. Grant it ALL of them will not be fulfilled, but the major ones can be. By no means is anyone perfect but EVERYONE has/have certain things they want. But when you meet someone that nskes your heart smile from the inside, I am pretty darn sure, that the MAJOR things you want/desire will be fufilled. I think I will challenge myself to do this to see what is really important to me. Love ya Lola Bell! Dedra-

Anonymous said...

Please, stay true to you!! If you believe that this is what you want, who are these other people to tell you that your 100 List Man doesn't exist. Besides, God is a God of power and has all that you need. He will provide for you above and beyond your expectations. God's best to you!!

ashley said...

I find it interesting that all of the comments were anonymous. If you put something out there why aren't you man enough or woman enough to own up to the statement/comment that you made. Also I don't see any harm in a grown woman stating what she wants in a mate. Granted no PERSON is perfect nor do I believe she expects them to be. The truth is if you don't atleast have some standards that you live by you will just be with anybody.

Gaea said...

I know that you know that you're going to have to compromise somewhere, so I'm not worried about that! I think it's good to have an idea!

Also, that whole "knows how to paint well, and has a large paint brush".... LOVE THAT! LOL What a nice, lady-like way of saying it!!

Alishia said...

I know I am EXTREMELY late commenting, but I'm finally reading a backlog of your posts which are awesome. And girlfriend, this man isn't Jesus, he's a reflection of what God intended in a man with a purpose in his heart. You will not be single for the rest of your life because there are men out there who fit your least 90% of the list.

A man from that list found me, and yours will find you, too. Keep doing ya thang!