Finding My Way To Love

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Simply Lola: In The Meantime

Sunday May 2, 2010 marked the day of grandmothers blessed birthday. She is now seventy-seven years young (lol). On the drive up to Kansas I was out voted by my five year old niece on not watching Tinkerbelle, and decided to read my book “In The Mean Time” by Iyanla Vanzant. I remember reading this book in college but never really understanding what the process of being in the “meantime’ really meant. I find myself drawn back to this book because I need a change in everything (life, scene, you name I need it changed)…lol. I am just not comfortable with were I am anymore. I am clear with what I want in my life but not exactly clear on how to get all of what I want. Most importantly, I am tired of making the same mistakes repeatedly expecting different results. The insanity must STOP! ( deep sigh…tragedy)

The book “In The Mean Time” states that life is formed in the womb, and how we are birth into the world shapes the characteristic and how we deal with life. I never really heard the story of my birth so I asked my mother about her most special day (giving birth to her oldest pride and joy..ME!).My mother knew she wanted me to be a singer. She said she cried a lot. My grandmother said she was very sensitive because she wanted everything just right. Through her pregnancy, she watched what she ate because she didn’t want to gain weight. She knew I was coming the day before I got here so she went to the beauty shop and got a good press and later to the mall to purchased a cute gown. The day of my birth she was in the middle of choir rehearsal and had to be carried to Wesley Hospital (I’m guess I caught the holy ghost and just had to come out…lol). It wasn’t long after she reached the hospital I came out yelling and screaming, there was need for me to be smacked on the butt, I made my known to the world of my arrival. She named me Lola, after my grandmother because she admired my grandmother strength and her determination (not really sure where Natisa came from).

As I listen to this magnificent story of my birth I’d drawn the conclusion of the type of person I am. I am emotional, dramatic sensitive singer, very obsessed with my weight, worried about the end result, and will look my best no matter where I’m going ( got to love a girl with great style). Now what in the world does mean, well I’m not quite sure I haven’t finished the book. I will say this, the ingredients used at my birth can be viewed as positive or negative. I believe them to be positive and with practice in giving them balances (you know, not being too emotional or overly sensitive/drama queen), they will become powerful.

I look at facebook and twitter reading the status of friends, family and a whole lot of strangers wondering if they are just as uneasy with where they are in life right now or is it just me. Surviving life can be hard. With mixed emotions and the uncertainties of our destiny and purpose, we find ourselves holding on for dear life. I want to be the great love of a great man and become a legacy of great music. I know I will become all that I desire in due time. I’m not sure how but in the mean time I am grandmothers namesake so I am determine to get through and be where I want to be.

This week, whatever it is that you want for you have the faith in knowing it will come to past. In the meantime, have the determination to get through the uncomfortable place you find yourself in.

Til Next Week
*Simply Lola*

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