Finding My Way To Love

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Week One/For The Love Of Me (Tony Gaskins)

I enrolled in a class called “4 The Love of Me” taught by Tony Gaskins (he’s the motivational speaker that was on Oprah promoting his relationship book “What Daddy Didn’t Tell His Daughter”). Anyway anyone who knows me knows that I am so against the “how to get a man” books and seminars. I hate them because men don’t join classes or read books about women they just take what they can get at the time they can get it, so my argument is if men are not so pressed to figure us (women) out why are we so pressed to figure them (men) out. I joined the class because I am a young beautiful talented woman of 30 who is having less coloring action than an unhappy married couple of ten years(lol). I knew it was really bad when I was watching the Jets play Denver on Sunday and I found myself wondering what defensive linemen had the larger cups (Don’t judge me). Something has got to give. I also signed up for this class because I have yet to be in a serious committed relationship and that is what I want at this point in my life. I guess one could say I am kind of like the Dallas Cowboys, I to want know what I need to do in order to score(lol).My fear is that I meet a man I really like and see myself getting serious with, we go out, I enjoy his company and conversation, and the next thing ya know I am all over him because I’m so excited that I finally I like a painter that I want to share my canvas with. I guess I just don’t want to move to fast. Lastly, I want to make sure I am being realistic about what type of man I wanted to be part of my life.

The first class took place on last Wednesday. The class is given by conference call at 9pm Eastern time, and last about an hour. There were about 40 women on the call. I logged in with excitement, high hopes with the expectations of getting all the questions as to why I am not coloring with my love list answered. My pen and pad was ready! The conversation started off with Mr. Gaskin talking about the importance of expectations and what should be mandatory on a woman’s love list. He said we should except the obvious… love, respect, and some other stuff. He talked about the warning signs of a man that goes out to much means that he is not a committed man, a man that curses can equal to a violent man (now I am not sure about the cursing because I know sometimes I can have a potty mouth and as long as he’s not cursing me out and calling me out of my name I don’t mind if he says “shit” if he smashes his finger in the door, or if we’re getting hot and heavy). Of course the man should be a man of God (blah, blah, blah, blah, blah) the usually, and that was it. Yep that’s all folks. Everything I’ve heard before, not what I was expecting (tragedy). He did welcome us to ask questions or make statements if we had any. There was quick silence and then a few women had the same response saying, we’ve heard this stuff before, DAMNIT WHERE IS MY MAN. It felt good to know I wasn’t the only woman that was sexually and emotionally frustrated. As for me I felt like I’ve been going by the “book” only wanting to throw the book in the trash and give the author the middle finger. It’s like do this , do that, don’t do this, don’t do that and still wondering what do I do to get what I want. I am all for self love and self pleasing but my vibrator is broke and my hands have become very boring. Oh sure I can color like men (I call them hoe moments) but my secret lover moved away and got married. Plus there comes a time in the most promiscuous girls life where she just wants to be seen as pretty damn cool the morning after while the gentle man next to her hums Andre 3000(The Morning After)

To sum up the first conference class, all I can say is it was nothing but what I’ve heard before. I am however going to stick it out for the next six weeks and see what happens. I wish I could tell you that I hung up the phone revived and motivated, but instead I was still hungry for my very own painter to color and have engaging complimenting conversation with. However it felt good to know at I wasn’t the only woman desperate with great expectations. To my friend who is in search for answers on how to attract a man, a new career, or just change and feel like you’ve heard it all before and tired of going by the book. Don’t worry you’re not the only one. Sometimes knowing you’re not alone is a better feeling that having the answers you may be searching for.

Til Next Time
Simply Lola

No comments: