Finding My Way To Love

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Weekly Update: Rock and Roll

April 17,2008

Hey Everyone,
Sorry I am so late with my update. This has been a little crazy. For you all who don’t know Atlanta had a really bad storm and well the power was out in half the city.I stayed with my cousins until we were able to get power on my side of town. It was a hot mess.

I have joined a church and they are doing a thirty day fast. In the past few days on the fast I have learned a lot about myself and why I have been holding on to certain things and people. Its very true what they (I don’t know what “they” are”…lol) say about believing. I doesn’t matter how many people believe in you if you don’t believe in yourself it doesn’t count. I realize I worry about how people think or feel about me. I wonder if I am good enough for the man of my dreams. Will I not have what I want because of my past and I realized that I have no problem forgiving others but its myself that I struggle to forgive. On my journey of life I plan to believe in myself and forgive myself and know for myself that when Mister Right comes to me I will be more then good enough. Please pray that my I may be safe and protected and ok at all times. I am literally down here on faith. I have no idea what is going to happen from day to day. I trust God but some times I do become a little weary. I’m not scared or afraid that I won’t make it or my dreams won’t come true because what will be will and I am doing my very best. But there are night when I just don’t know and just need a little strength.

Now for the good stuff! On Saturday I had the pleasure to attend a private producer party held by red bull. I was able to interact with some very famous producers like Brian Cox, Maestro, DJ Tunk, and a guy by the name of Sam Hook. Now i know these names don't sound familiar to you but you listen to there songs on the radio everyday. A lot of producers are impressed with my writing so I may get in on the writing side first which is cool with me because writers make the most money...lol. I have been doing so recording so that’s a good thing as well. I have a photo shoot at the end of the month so I am in the gym like crazy.On Wednesday I attended none other then T.O. millionaires ball. I will say this he likes them (ladies) light bright and dame near white…and he picks the girls that he wants in his section…hot mess, very hot mess. I didn’t meet a millionaire for myself I got the light bright part but the long weave was missing so I was just kind of there…lol. Gabriel Union was (yes I said it right was) dating Chaka (Ludicris manager) I have seen her a few times here in the city. I thought it was to work on a movie but she was working on moves to move in with Chaka, he is not one for commitment so he let her go. If you google Chaka you find that is very unattractive but is very wealthy. FYI: ladies the famous women have the same drama we have they just have money…lol. Silk from 112 had a party last night and apparently he has been eating well and it shows very well because he was very short the chucky look is not fashion forward.
I am still trying to figure out why men have a thing for gay men, they are worse then women. Very needy and attention starved its just tragic if you as me. I have a gay friend and well he gives his boyfriend hell , as I watch them fight I think to myself if this man was running away from women because of drama be would be better off alone....lol

Until Next Week
Lola

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