Wednesday, May 4, 2011
More Than Just Fuckable
At the beginning of the year (actually New Years day) I created a vision board. It was my way of telling the universe/ God what I wanted in and for my life. On my vision board, I put pictures of objects that symbolized love and commitment with the man of my dreams. I even put words that described our relationship. Like, leader, romance, love, trust, magnetic personality, friendship, made for me, man of style and so on an so forth. I even creatively made a figure of a man saying “Lola will you marry me”(lol). Not only did I do a vision board, but I went on a fast for 30 day …30 DAYS of just beans, water, fruit and vegetables minus butter, sugar, and anything else making vegetables worth eating. To top off the vision board and the 30 day fast, I get up every morning and workout like I’m training for a damn triathlon.Oh and did I mention I too know Jesus (lol) I do all of this only find men only interested in my Vagina!!!(the most non productive part of my body)!
I've been on a few dates this year with a few different guys and it seems that the only thing any of these men seem to be interested in is my vagina. It doesn’t matter that I watch sport center, or that I am a college graduate with long term goals, having hobbies like volunteering at elementary schools with at risk youth, because most of the men want to know can I make my pussy clap(tragic just tragic). I go on these dates with high hopes with great expectations, ready to converse about current events, the NFL draft, NBA playoffs, and the Royal Wedding (hey, I’m a girl, lol) only for the guy to be itching to pinch a titty, grab my ass, and play in between my thighs. As shocking as this may sound men I am more than just Fuckable! I can do more then just moan and groan pretending to enjoy the gabbing of your penis during a night of non passionate four play.
I find it interesting that my vagina is more interesting than anything else I have to offer. It’s as if men feel like it's a form of art designed differently on each woman they encounter. It’s not. Unless a woman has patiently be dazzled her private parts for fun, most of them look the same, and do the same. It gets wet, it has a g-spot ( some more hidden than others), if you hit the spot right it will squirt bodily fluids on to your sheets. It bleeds and it comes with baggage. Nothing more and certainly ,nothing less.
I know I sound overly emotional but something has got to give. Of course I ( as do many women) enjoy the art of coloring. But there comes a point in a woman’s life where we don’t just want be fucked and forgotten before we can even leave the man’s home. I can only speak for me but coloring with no connection can make a woman feel as if we don' count, mostly not matter. I mean most of us are aware of the situations we put ourselves in but that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. It’s like you go over a guy’s house or the other way around only to wake up having to put the pieces of our self-esteem/self-worth back together attempting to make us whole, yet again. Kind of like a wealthy man who only is worth a fuck because of his financial wealth.If i asked a man what his bank account was looking like, I'de classified as a gold digging hoe,but would I be wrong. No! because pussy pampering cost, and if you gone play in it then by all means pay ya dame pussy bill (lol). Then lies the question why do it, why have a one night stand, or give into the temptation coloring activity when we (better yet, I)know its a dead end to misery.The answer is simple, because we want to be desired and not be alone…even if it’s for a few hours. I'm at a point ( as many women my age are) where I want to be desired for a life time by one man. I want to be kissed by someone that remembers the color of my eyes. I want to make love to someone and not have to immediately look for my shoes, panties, and bra having to rush out the door because I don’t want to wear out my welcome. I know men are visual people, all I am asking is that I would be visualized as beautiful , and smart, not just Fuckable (lol).
To the guy reading this ready to battle in a debate, I’m sure you just want to have fun for one night. I believe you should do just what you want to do, just don’t ask me on a date because I am more than just fuckable(lol).
Til Next Time